The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend.
"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town — Adams Realty and Fitch Realty — Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
The author compares the real state in our town namely adams realty and fitch realty. The author is trying to convey the message that adams realty is much better than fitch realty by giving some points. but the points which are conveyed by the author is vagued and has no solid evidence to substantiate it. I will try to explain these fallies provided by the author.
Firstly, the author is saying that adams realty is superior than fitch realty on the basis of comparing the number of agents on them. adams realty has 40 agents and fitch realty has 25 agents. More, number of agents does not mean that Adams realty is better. May be the efficiency of the agents working in the Adams realty is average compared to the fitch realty. Fitch realty agents are working parts times, this shows that there efficiency is much higher than adams realty because their agents do not need to spend so much time on the work. they can finish their work in far less time compared to Adams realty.
Secondly, the author states that adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to fitch's $144,000. More revenue does not mean profit. may me fitch has less revenue than adams' but making more profit than fitch. Again higher sales do not mean higher profit. it may also mean that adams' are selling the houses which have higher value but in very less quantity and fitch are selling which has lower value but can be very high in numbers.
Thirdly, the author is telling that ten years ago I listed my home with fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with adams, and it took only one month. maybe this author personal experience has given him the whole negative idea about fitch. maybe he is true, one example can not make the firm bad. it would be better for the author to give some more real examples or stats which show that fitch is not good as adams.
To sum up, the author has stated so many vague statements which are lacking in evidence. it would be better for the author to give us more information abouth both real state firms.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 392 350
No. of Characters: 1713 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.45 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.37 4.6
Word Length SD: 1.865 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 45 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 23 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 7 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.207 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.474 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.728 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.277 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 203, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...han fitch realty by giving some points. but the points which are conveyed by the au...
^^^
Line 7, column 61, Rule ID: SUPERIOR_THAN[1]
Message: The adjective superior is normally used with 'to'.
Suggestion: to
...is saying that adams realty is superior than fitch realty on the basis of comparing ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 135, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Adams
...comparing the number of agents on them. adams realty has 40 agents and fitch realty h...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 264, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...t mean that Adams realty is better. May be the efficiency of the agents working in...
^^
Line 7, column 544, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...need to spend so much time on the work. they can finish their work in far less time ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 201, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: May
...000. More revenue does not mean profit. may me fitch has less revenue than adams bu...
^^^
Line 13, column 323, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...higher sales do not mean higher profit. it may also mean that adams are selling th...
^^
Line 19, column 212, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maybe
...with adams, and it took only one month. maybe this author personal experience has giv...
^^^^^
Line 19, column 301, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maybe
...im the whole negative idea about fitch. maybe he is true, one example can not make th...
^^^^^
Line 19, column 358, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... one example can not make the firm bad. it would be better for the author to give ...
^^
Line 25, column 90, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...atements which are lacking in evidence. it would be better for the author to give ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 55.5748502994 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1780.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 392.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.54081632653 5.12650576532 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 1.91728149903 2.78398813304 69% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.466836734694 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 532.8 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 46.8484312459 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.7619047619 119.503703932 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6666666667 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.7619047619 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.316001839474 0.218282227539 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.121448581311 0.0743258471296 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.129518551181 0.0701772020484 185% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166632602508 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.112383303017 0.0628817314937 179% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 14.3799401198 65% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 48.3550499002 145% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 12.197005988 65% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.05 12.5979740519 72% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.87 8.32208582834 83% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 98.500998004 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.