The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment building to its manager.
"One month ago, all the showerheads on the first five floors of Sunnyside Towers were modified to restrict the water flow to approximately one-third of its original flow. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. Clearly, restricting water flow throughout all the twenty floors of Sunnyside Towers will increase our profits further."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The recommendation letter asserts that by limiting the water flow of the building through all floors, it will result in a increase in the profit of the company. However, this argument is not sound and will need to provide supplementary information to further support the ideas.
First of all, it does not sound logical that a inhibition of water flow will result in a decrease in the total water usage. Residents may use the same amount of water simply by using it for a longer time. Since the water flowing out of the faucet is limited, it may take a longer time to rinse or get rid of all the soap when taking a shower. Consequently, to further support the notion, the author should answer the question of whether the time spent using the water supply remains similar to the original case: if the times are similar indeed, the restricted water flux will result in a frugal usage of water.
Next, until now the new showerheads were only installed in the first 5 layer of the building and there were only minor complaints regarding low water pressure. However, generalizing the situation to the entire building may be pernicious since water pressure will continue to drop with elevation because water pressure is analogous to air pressure: the higher we go, the lower it gets. Therefore, if the passage provides alternative methods to mitigate the low water pressure in the high levels of the building, it would be more cogent. Unless, the author might have to face unprecedented amounts of claims toward the new showerheads.
Finally, the passage needs to clarify the correlation between the profit and the amount of water usage. Although it is possible that the corporation will be able to cut expenses if the water usage declines, but the prices of showerheads may exceed the amount of savings: if the residents are people who are aware of environmental issues and thus use water thriftly, the amount of savings made by the water expenses will not be significant. However, if the residents were prodigal when using water, and took prolonged time to take a shower, the exchange of showerheads to save water may be an plausible solution to the problem. Nevertheless, the relation between profit and water should be elaborated more closely.
In conclusion, for the writing to become more logical, it should prove that a hindering water flow will result in a abated water usage, and water pressure is homogeneous within the building, and finally that profit is strongly tied up with overall water usage.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 2031 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.768 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.575 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.489 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.867 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.395 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.622 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 121, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...g through all floors, it will result in a increase in the profit of the company. ...
^
Line 3, column 47, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... of all, it does not sound logical that a inhibition of water flow will result in...
^
Line 3, column 415, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; the question whether
...rt the notion, the author should answer the question of whether the time spent using the water supply r...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 538, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Unless” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... the building, it would be more cogent. Unless, the author might have to face unpreced...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 591, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...nge of showerheads to save water may be an plausible solution to the problem. Neve...
^^
Line 9, column 116, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...t a hindering water flow will result in a abated water usage, and water pressure ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, finally, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, regarding, so, therefore, thus, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2092.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 426.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91079812207 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66404209433 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.478873239437 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 671.4 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.8558393908 57.8364921388 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.466666667 119.503703932 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.4 23.324526521 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.4 5.70786347227 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.141982441564 0.218282227539 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0580592249638 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0418386503557 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0896374192737 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0121191187896 0.0628817314937 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 48.3550499002 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.