The following appeared in a letter to the school board in the town of Centerville.
"All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have complained that they are too busy to teach their teenagers to drive, some other instruction is necessary to ensure that these teenagers are safe drivers. Although there are two driving schools in Centerville, parents on a tight budget cannot afford to pay for driving instruction. Therefore an effective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem."
The author asserted that there is a problem with the safety of teenage driving, due to several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenager drivers, to tackle it, the only way is by providing student mandatory driving program offered by high school. The author claimed that student’s parents are too busy to teach their teenagers, and the local driving schools are too expensive for families. Considering the information offered by the author, his/her assumptions seems plausible at the first glance, however, there is lack of details in the information that weaken the author’s view.
First, the author pointed out there are a number of parents in Centerville have complained that they are too busy to take their Child to school. However, what is the exact percentage of the parents who complained in terms of the whole parents group? The author failed to provide this vital information. There is a possibility that it is only a very small percent of parents are complaining, and most of the parents are still balance their life well and are able to bring their teenagers to school. It might also be the situation that most of parents are not only taking their teenagers to school, they also objected to the idea that school should promote student driving by themselves, since it might take part of the study time out to invest on the driving program.If it is true, offering mandatory driving program, on the one hand will sacrifice valuable study resource, on the other hand will bring about the higher chance of teenagers driving by themselves. In this case, the author’s assertion will totally produce the opposite effects.
Second, the author describes the problems by say several accidents in t and around Centerville have involved teenager drivers, he/she dose not clear the fact whether it is the teenager in the accident is the one who should take responsibility for the accident, it could be the adult part who driving after drinking and hit the teen driver while teen driver did not escape the in coming car in time, if that is the case, then it should be the government’s responsibility to control post alcohol drinking behavior among adults instead of improving teenagers’ driving skill.
Thirdly, Even if the responsibility falls on the teenagers’ part in the accidents that happened the in past two years, it does not represent the tend will continue. There should be more research to evaluated the current teenagers driving skill and the percentage of teenagers who drive to school in terms of whole city, if the average teenager driving skill is poor and the percentage of them who normally drive by themselves to school is high, then it will be suitable for the author to say school need to implement measures to help student learn safe driving.
Over all, before scrutinizing detail information, the author is not able to support his assumptions and risk the chance of waste education funds and student time in driving programs.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 499 350
No. of Characters: 2417 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.726 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.844 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.563 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.643 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 24.569 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.589 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.12 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 427, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'balanced'.
Suggestion: balanced
...ning, and most of the parents are still balance their life well and are able to bring t...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 536, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the parents') or simply say ''most parents''.
Suggestion: most of the parents; most parents
...ol. It might also be the situation that most of parents are not only taking their teenagers to ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 768, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...me out to invest on the driving program.If it is true, offering mandatory driving ...
^^
Line 5, column 135, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'doses'.
Suggestion: doses
... have involved teenager drivers, he/she dose not clear the fact whether it is the te...
^^^^
Line 7, column 147, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...n past two years, it does not represent the tend will continue. There should be more res...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, second, so, still, then, third, thirdly, well, while, it is true, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2510.0 2260.96107784 111% => OK
No of words: 496.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06048387097 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71922212354 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79822440728 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.45564516129 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 767.7 705.55239521 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 38.0 22.8473053892 166% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 151.341613655 57.8364921388 262% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 193.076923077 119.503703932 162% => OK
Words per sentence: 38.1538461538 23.324526521 164% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.38461538462 5.70786347227 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183580123751 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0650215415245 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0511214546616 0.0701772020484 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108641081116 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.036153680587 0.0628817314937 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 21.5 14.3799401198 150% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.37 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.9 12.197005988 139% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.66 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 17.2 11.1389221557 154% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.