The following appeared in a memo to the board of the Grandview Symphony."The city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony since the symphony's inception ten years ago. Last year the symphony hired an internationally known condu

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo to the board of the Grandview Symphony.

"The city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony since the symphony's inception ten years ago. Last year the symphony hired an internationally known conductor, who has been able to attract high-profile guest musicians to perform with the symphony. Since then, private contributions to the symphony have doubled and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series has reached new highs. Now that the Grandview Symphony is an established success, it can raise ticket prices. Increased revenue from larger audiences and higher ticket prices will enable the symphony to succeed without funding from the city government."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The author cites that symphony's funding increase due to conductor who has been able to attract high-profile guest musicians to perform with the symphony. Furthermore, the author also says that attendance in symphony's concerts have doubled after performance with high-profile guest musicians. Though, I refute this claim due to some loopholes in this claim and some assumptions which are made by the author in his claim.

Initially, we can say that the author have not given proper numerical data for increase in attendance as well as relation which states high-profile guests' performance with symphony with other performance of symphony after that. The symphony's performance impacts same as their performance with experts. This is the biggest assumption made by the author without giving particular relation between this two different performance. The author implies that attendance of people have doubled and increase in tickets prices help the symphony for funding itself. But the author have not given numerical data regarding how many attendance is before performance of experts with the symphony? How much prices they have raised? Is this raised price enough to funding their concerts.

Secondly, the author cites that city government was funding in past which was now funded by the symphony itself. Although, the author forgets to cite adverse effect of hiked price. He has not given overall information regarding the raise in money and he has also not given information about fees of conductor. Hence, the author has given answers to questions. Like, how much the symphony pays to conductor? Is money which is obtained by hiked price enough to pay conductor and still it can fund their concerts? To answer this questions, the author has given numerical value of money

At the end, the author cites that conductor help to invite experts to the symphony concerts. But he has not given information about the conductor who they are and how they work? The author have to give information about this conductor.
To bolster his claim, the author has given numerical data regarding funding, information about conductors and remove assumptions which were made by him without any basis.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
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2016-09-19 DHARMESH SHARMA 50 view
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Essays by user DHARMESH SHARMA :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 614, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun attendance seems to be countable; consider using: 'many attendances'.
Suggestion: many attendances
... not given numerical data regarding how many attendance is before performance of experts with t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 686, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...mance of experts with the symphony? How much prices they have raised? Is this raised...
^^^^
Line 5, column 114, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... was now funded by the symphony itself. Although, the author forgets to cite adverse eff...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 583, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uthor has given numerical value of money At the end, the author cites that conduc...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 171, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ich were made by him without any basis.
^^^^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'furthermore', 'hence', 'if', 'regarding', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'still', 'well', 'as well as']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.267716535433 0.25644967241 104% => OK
Verbs: 0.183727034121 0.15541462614 118% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0656167979003 0.0836205057962 78% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0419947506562 0.0520304965353 81% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0446194225722 0.0272364105082 164% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.125984251969 0.125424944231 100% => OK
Participles: 0.0603674540682 0.0416121511921 145% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.66817984279 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0367454068241 0.026700313972 138% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0944881889764 0.113004496875 84% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.00524934383202 0.0255425247493 21% => Some modal verbs wanted.
WH_determiners: 0.0288713910761 0.0127820249294 226% => Maybe 'Which' is overused. If other WH_determiners like 'Who, What, Whom, Whose...' are used too in sentences, then there are no issues.

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2200.0 2731.13054187 81% => OK
No of words: 350.0 446.07635468 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.28571428571 6.12365571057 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32530772707 4.57801047555 94% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.382857142857 0.378187486979 101% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.28 0.287650121315 97% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.205714285714 0.208842608468 99% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.162857142857 0.135150697306 121% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66817984279 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 207.018472906 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.431428571429 0.469332199767 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 43.6834197492 52.1807786196 84% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.039408867 100% => OK
Sentence length: 17.5 23.2022227129 75% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.7273566561 57.7814097925 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.0 141.986410481 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5 23.2022227129 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.6 0.724660767414 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 3.58251231527 140% => OK
Readability: 45.5 51.9672348444 88% => OK
Elegance: 1.67961165049 1.8405768891 91% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.386916105993 0.441005458295 88% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.141575876955 0.135418324435 105% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0899719745713 0.0829849096947 108% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.532113833774 0.58762219726 91% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.171575315281 0.147661913831 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.172189066576 0.193483328276 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103742587287 0.0970749176394 107% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.389631488483 0.42659136922 91% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.103706950879 0.0774707102158 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.26492328995 0.312017818177 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.082577886754 0.0698173142475 118% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.33743842365 60% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.87684729064 44% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.82512315271 249% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 5.0 6.46551724138 77% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 5.36822660099 37% => OK
Neutral topic words: 10.0 2.82389162562 354% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 14.657635468 116% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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More arguments wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.