The following appeared in a memo from the chief executive of a video game company.
"We have recently been offered the opportunity to buy the rights to produce a video game based on the soon-to-be-published children's book 'Squirrel Power,' by Peter Wood. While the cost of the rights is substantial and will place economic constraints on our company in the short-term, there are two reasons that the purchase of these rights will undoubtedly be a wise investment. First, Wood's last three books have been best sellers and the movie based on his first book was highly profitable. Second, the popular characters and story line in 'Squirrel Power' will save us time in developing our video game, thereby reducing our costs."
The author of this memo assumes that producing video game based on the "Squirrel Power" written by Peter wood is profitable in short-term and diminish the economic burden on company. He states that Wood's last three books had best profits and a video game rights on his first book is also wise investment. In addition, he assumes that the characters and story line is another reason behind the suitable future for producing a video game. The close scrutiny of this memo reveals that all mentioned arguments are based on some doubtful assumptions.
First of all, the writer claims that producing video game is a wise investment since it reduces the financial constraints on the company. Rolling out this claim demonstrates that the author fails to consider other affecting factors such as overall financial needs of the company since it is entirely possible the predicted income from this video game never satisfy the monetary problems of the company. Or perhaps the company’s professions, skill and facilities are inadequate for accomplishing this project.
Second, the last three books of Peter wood indicate that his books have a potential for producing video game specially his first book, according to the chief of the company. It is possible that the quality of the produced video game no longer guarantee the success of the video game. being best seller does not necessarily mean that making video game also is profitable since his first book comparable to his last two ones books had a lower profits.
Third, the author asserts that the story line and popular characters save the time for the company to develop the video game. The author fails to see that only factor in developing a video game is not time since some customers prefer to buy long games which makes a pleasure time for them. it is entirely possible that a video game is not able to satisfy the patrons' needs with high of quality like the story line in the book.
All in all, the author of this memo provides no categorical evidence about the authenticity of his company to develop a video game. To bolster this preposition, the author must provide detailed information about the quality of the work in his company like experts and facilities. He also needs to provide some information about profits of Peter Wood's book in recent years and desire of customers to watch short video games based on "Squirrel Power".
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argument 1 -- not OK. where did you get: producing video game is a wise investment since it reduces the financial constraints on the company? here goes the argument:
While the cost of the rights is substantial and will place economic constraints on our company in the short-term.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. how did you get this: since some customers prefer to buy long games which makes a pleasure time for them?
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 405 350
No. of Characters: 1951 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.486 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.817 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.45 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.021 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.419 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.658 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.203 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5