The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
While the memo to the president of HobCo, Inc., by New Ventures Consulting, seems to recommend Southeaster Grilldon as the site for the next HobCo Hobby Shop, the memo fails to mention several key factors and underlying information without which the author’s argument is difficult to substantiate. The conclusion put forth relies on assumptions which are rather weak, unconvincing and have several flaws and hence need to be examined much more closely.
Firstly, the argument claims that 88% of those who responded indicated that they welcomed the opening of the hobby store, but it fails to answer fundamental questions about the demographic of the responders, which shall have a direct impact on the success of the shop. The argument also fails to mention the exact rubric of the poll, as to what were the other options presented to the responders in the poll. For example, if the poll presented only two options for either building a hobby store or not, it is highly plausible that the responder would not have minded the presence of a hobby store. But had the poll included other options such as the choice of the launch of a shopping center or a library in comparison to the hobby shop, there could have been a very different result, which could give us a better understanding of the implications of opening a hobby shop. Hence, a detailed representative survey with sufficient choices along with the demographics of the responders must be carried out to yield powerful insights into the decision.
The memo also states that during the last decade, there has been an increase by 300 percent in the hobby business, but it fails to take into the account the accretion of other businesses concurrently. For instance, it may have been very much possible that the entertainment industry has grown at a tremendous pace of over a 1000 percent over the last decade and therefore the growth of the hobby business in comparison is trivial. For this reason, the argument should have also included details of the growth of other business, both in the same industry vertical and outside.
Another glaring flaw in the argument is that the author relies on the success of the proposed hobby shop due to a large population of retirees. This is an example of highly defective reasoning to equate the success of the shop with the presence of retirees. It is highly possible that the retirees may have no inclination to pursue such hobbies and may prefer other recreational activities. Therefore, this reasoning does not have any weight and is highly stereotypical.
In conclusion, it may be possible that Southeastern Grilldon may offer a friendly environment for the launch of a hobby shop, but the arguments put forth by the memo have inconsistencies, and there have been a lot of questions that need to be answered before undertaking the launch of the shop. Without supporting evidence and examples where other such businesses have performed well in Grilldon, one is left under the impression that the claim is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence, and hence fails to deliver.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- OK
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read a sample:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 520 350
No. of Characters: 2523 1500
No. of Different Words: 238 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.775 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.852 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.73 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.385 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.613 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, so, therefore, well, while, as to, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2587.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 520.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.975 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77530192783 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8214094583 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 204.123752495 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.471153846154 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 804.6 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 22.8473053892 140% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 66.4785856028 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 161.6875 119.503703932 135% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.5 23.324526521 139% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.9375 5.70786347227 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186037508592 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0613449144345 0.0743258471296 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0784624262406 0.0701772020484 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11201452673 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0672288459576 0.0628817314937 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.2 14.3799401198 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.46 48.3550499002 98% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.14 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 98.500998004 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.1389221557 133% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.