The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulty obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our popular alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. Given the outcry from our customers when we discontinued this product and the fact that none of our competitors offers a comparable product, we can expect pent-up consumer demand for our alpaca coats. This demand and the overall increase in clothing prices will make Sartorian's alpaca overcoats more profitable than ever before."
The new vice president of a manufacturer company recommanded that if they restart their famous alpaca overcoat, then their profit will soar up more than ever. In his support, he asserted about finding a new supplier of raw materials, and the demand from their customers. However, the argument is rife with fallacies that leads to a illogical conclusion.
At first, we have to give enough emphasis about the time line. The alpaca overcoat was popular five years ago that is a huge amount of time. In five years, a whole lot can change. The customers of alpaca coats may have been economically well-off five years ago, whereas , there may have been an economic depression in recent time, leading to a dearth of need for alpaca coats. Additionally, Alpaca overcoats may have been used more in winter dire conditions. Perhaps, the weather of that specific area of Alapaca Overcoat's customer has changed over the course of time. Ergo, there is even a possibility of no need of such commodity. There has to support or evidence about the socio-economic, meteorilogical whereabouts of that area, and customers still having the same sense of fashion. The trend of fashion may change drastically over short span of time, whereas five years is huge gap. If any of these are true, the argument is significantly weakened.
Secondly, the demand of the customers are on the rise. This alpaca overcoat was popular back in the days, but the customers are still waiting for it for five years, is a bit too optimistic. Over the span of five years, its normal for the customers to switch to another company's overcoats. An empirical study of the customers is needed to support this claim. The competitors back then, may have been not as good as the Sartorian company. Nonetheless, there is no evidence behind the claim that they are still producing below average products. The other companies may even have surpassed the so called "top notch" alpaca overcoats of the Sartorian company. The vice president's logic was supercilious about their own products, without any study behind the competency of the other companies.
Additionally, the Sartorian company is expecting a bigger profit margin. This is backed up in the prompt by saying the customer demand and overall increase in clothing price. Then, it should be evident that if there is inflation of prices of clothes, then the price of raw supplies will also rise. Even if, the Sartorian company sell the new overcoats at a higher price than five years ago, there is has to be other investigation about the necessary expenditures; Such as, labor cost, maybe a new design for alpaca coats as the other design is outdated. These costs has to be added to their cost margins before citing this idea will be more profitable than before. There has to new advertisements of the company, as they were out of the alapaca overcoats game for such a long time. These needs to be considered inorder to have a better idea of the profit margin.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, has numerous unwarranted assumptions, which are needed to be addressed .
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 523 350
No. of Characters: 2490 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.782 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.761 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.629 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.034 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.49 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.552 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.265 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.265 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 331, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...nt is rife with fallacies that leads to a illogical conclusion. At first, we ha...
^
Line 2, column 159, Rule ID: WHOLE_LOT[1]
Message: Use simply 'lot'.
Suggestion: lot
...a huge amount of time. In five years, a whole lot can change. The customers of alpaca coa...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 205, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[3]
Message: You should probably use 'coat'.
Suggestion: coat
...lot can change. The customers of alpaca coats may have been economically well-off fi...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 224, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... customers of alpaca coats may have been economically well-off five years ago, wh...
^^
Line 2, column 271, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...mically well-off five years ago, whereas , there may have been an economic depress...
^^
Line 4, column 567, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'have', 'haven'.
Suggestion: have; haven
...e other design is outdated. These costs has to be added to their cost margins befor...
^^^
Line 5, column 118, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ptions, which are needed to be addressed .
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, nonetheless, second, secondly, so, still, then, well, whereas, as to, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2574.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 523.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92160611855 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78217453174 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73945158952 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479923518164 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 833.4 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.2193483996 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.7586206897 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0344827586 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.41379310345 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.144605729484 0.218282227539 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0374809308636 0.0743258471296 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.040323108874 0.0701772020484 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0725477024013 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0398282928208 0.0628817314937 63% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 14.3799401198 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.96 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 98.500998004 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.