The following appeared in a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author’s assumption that because the domestic cheeses is best-selling in the newest store last year and the higher preference for domestic cheeses in the survey, the best way to improve profits is to stop stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and focus primarily on domestic cheeses is unreasonable. Some questions are needed to be concerned.
To begin with, the author claims that domestic cheeses were more popular than imported chesses because all of best-selling cheeses were domestic cheeses. However, this assumption is unwarranted, since things rarely remain the same over extended period of time. There are all kinds of difference between this year and last year. For example, as newest store had promotion of domestic cheeses last year, residents went to store for panic buying. Or economic depression this year will cause lower sales than last year. Any of these questions, if do not take, would serve to undermine the claim that domestic cheeses were more popular than imported cheeses.
Further, the author relies on report by the cheeses of the world magazine to suggest that the preference for domestic cheeses is increasing. However, the report has a question: lacking the exactly number of people attending the survey. To specifically, cheeses of the world magazine might only invite 100 people to finish his or her investigation while there are more than ten thousand among its subscribers. Then, their feedback cannot represent the rest of subscribers since they might be just a minority group.
Even if the report by the cheeses of the world magazine is reliable, there are another question should be considered. The author’s conclusion that the best way to improve profit is to give up stocking many of our imported cheese and focus on domestic cheeses is unwarranted. Profit is relating to not only revenue but also cost. It’s entirely possible that the revenue will decrease because people lack selection, and this is also a finite way to save the cost. Besides, a myriad of other unexpected occurrences, such as unfavorable economic depression, might prevent the company from as profitable as the argument predicts.
To sum up, if author can explain some questions, including financial condition difference between last year and this year, the exactly number of people attending the survey, and possible factors that will undermine the predicts, the recommendation will be more reasonable.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 390 350
No. of Characters: 1994 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.444 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.113 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.613 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.43 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 246, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...gs rarely remain the same over extended period of time. There are all kinds of difference betw...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 515, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ce they might be just a minority group. Even if the report by the cheeses of the...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, however, if, so, then, while, for example, such as, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2059.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 390.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27948717949 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72771467541 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.484615384615 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 636.3 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.0257077404 57.8364921388 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.388888889 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6666666667 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.33333333333 5.70786347227 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.301644166141 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0944148016694 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101353675944 0.0701772020484 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.172066548195 0.128457276422 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.10456934864 0.0628817314937 166% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.