The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of marketing at Dura Soc, Inc.
“ A recent study of our customers suggests that our company is wasting the money it spends on its patented Endure manufacturing process, which ensures that our socks are strong enough to last for two years. We have always advertised our use of the Endure process, but the new study shows that despite our socks’ durability, our average customer actually purchases new Dura-Socks every three months. Furthermore, our customers surveyed in our largest market, northeastern United States cities, say that they most value Dura-Socks’ stylish appearance and availability in many colors. These findings suggest that we can increase our profits by discontinuing use of the Endure manufacturing process.”
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The memo that appeared from the vice president of marketing at Dura Soc, Inc. suggested, the company should discontinue the use of Endure manufacturing process to increase the profits. The suggestion was based upon the surveys conducted in their largest market of customers and on a recent study that was carried out. If given following evidences, the argument would be strengthened and would make it easier to take the final decision.
Firstly, there is no evidence about when the "new" study was conducted and if the study is still relevant to present day. There are no details given by the author about the total customers considered for the study or about how the frequency of customers purchasing the Dura-Socks is distributed throughout the years. It might be possible that most customers purchase Dura-Socks every one to two months and few purchase every eleven to twelve months.Thus, average is not a plausible method to base suggestions on. Further, if the sample size of the customers considered is very small, then the results obtained would not be dependable. If valid statistics are given, then the study conducted would be plausible.
Secondly, the customers surveyed in the largest market should be quantified. The largest market is subjective and so, the size of the market should be provided. The survey should provide the evidence of other markets, the number of customers surveyed, their age groups and the details when the survey was conducted. If the survey was conducted among younger set of customers, then they would most probably value the stylish appearance and availabilty in many colors. But, if it was conducted in an older set of customers, durabilty would appealing to them. Similary, the recency of the survey plays a factor in the choice of socks. The choices of socks may change with time. If the author provides this data, then the argument would be strengthened.
And finally, evidence should be provided on the number of styles and the number of colors that the socks are available in. "Many" and "most" do not quantify the variety available at Dura-Socks. If, for example, there are 10 different styles and 10 different colors in each style, then Dura-Socks may be considered as having a wide variety. The author should, thus, provide with numbers that would strengthen the argument.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, would be strenthened if provided with the detailed evidences as mentioned. If he is able to provide with the evidences then the Endure manufacturing process could be discontinued to increase the company's profit.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 425 350
No. of Characters: 2100 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.54 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.941 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.666 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.318 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.825 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 418, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun purchase seems to be countable; consider using: 'few purchases'.
Suggestion: few purchases
... Dura-Socks every one to two months and few purchase every eleven to twelve months.Thus, ave...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 461, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
... purchase every eleven to twelve months.Thus, average is not a plausible method to b...
^^^^
Line 5, column 540, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'appeal'
Suggestion: appeal
...older set of customers, durabilty would appealing to them. Similary, the recency of the s...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 595, Rule ID: PLAYS_A_FACTOR[1]
Message: Did you mean 'plays a role'?
Suggestion: plays a role
...em. Similary, the recency of the survey plays a factor in the choice of socks. The choices of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 124, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...th the detailed evidences as mentioned. If he is able to provide with the evidence...
^^
Line 9, column 173, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...able to provide with the evidences then the Endure manufacturing process could be disconti...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, thus, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2204.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 424.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19811320755 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53775939005 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90182913307 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483490566038 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 678.6 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.4817733597 57.8364921388 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.8260869565 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4347826087 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.60869565217 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.160955375688 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0558993736354 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0810540316433 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109499798418 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0939783355965 0.0628817314937 149% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.88 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.