The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The website persuads that the parents should choose the Mozard School of Music because of the many advantages the school provides. However, the argument relies on numerous unsubstantiated reasons and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
First of all, the website asserts that it welcomes all youngsters at any ability and age levels and does not have an audition to attend the school. However, this does not make any advantages to lure parents to apply their children. It would be an advantage for parents applying their children to give them an opertunity for their hobby. However, most of the parents that are looking for experts to foster their child's talent will not be tempted to apply to this school. Without audition and specific requirements to apply for the school, the school might lose some future consumers.
Secondly, the website argues that it has instruments and experts in many of the fields of music. However, to make this argument plausible, there is a need for extra information. Even though the variety of musical instruments might sounds favorable, this does not mean it has numerous amount of each instruments. Moreover, there are no mentions about the quality of each instruments. Some fields, like classic, require high quality of instument and therefore, without any mention to it, it will not affect to apply for the school. Furthermore, even if there are many experts in the school does not mean it has every experts in the field. Perhaps, the school only offer experts in the field of classics not pops or rock. Whatever it is, the website needs to require more information about their instruments and faculties.
Finally, the website states that many of their graduates are well-known and highly paid in that area. However, it does not mention any exact number or percentage of these graduates. Moreover, the term, highly paid and well-known, is vague and subjective. Therefore, the website requires actual criteria for this statement. Furthermore, there is a need to what field of music that each successful graduates major on. This can show what field of music that this school has a strength on it.
In conclusion, the website has several unreliable and vague data that is not persuasive for parents. There is a need for extra information and explanation to its assertion.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 382 350
No. of Characters: 1876 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.421 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.911 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.577 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.609 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.528 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.303 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, furthermore, however, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1931.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 382.0 441.139720559 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05497382199 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42095241839 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70279939792 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.458115183246 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 589.5 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 24.2755137352 57.8364921388 42% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 83.9565217391 119.503703932 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6086956522 23.324526521 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.39130434783 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.254234011083 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.072007961983 0.0743258471296 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0741171824905 0.0701772020484 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139081193597 0.128457276422 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0804045365586 0.0628817314937 128% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.71 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.