The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine."A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep t

Essay topics:

The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."

The author shows in the study that the firms whose executives are having sleep less than 6 hours per night are having more profit margins and having faster growth. So he comes to the conclusion that the firm should hire the employees having less than 6 hours of sleep per night to grow faster. This argument of the author is not having any definite reason behind the connection of sleep and the growth of the advertising firms. However the author has lack of evidence for his assumptions which are made in the article.

Firstly, the average satisfying sleeping rate of an adult is 8 hours per night. It might be possible that the survey would have been taken only of the people who sleep less than 6 hours per night. There may be executives who might sleep for 8 hours on an average and also have the same business growth as the executives having sleep less than 6 hours per night.

Secondly, the author has only considered the factor of sleeping for the advancement of the business while there are many other factors of the employees that is necessary for the advancement of the business like skills, techniques, capability to work, efficiency to complete the work faster. With these factors the employees can contribute more to the firm. The firm should hire more capable and skillful workers rather than the ones who sleep less. If the employee sleeps less and will also have lesser skills then that it will not have so good impact on the betterment of the business.
Thirdly, in the firms where the survey has been taken, there may be other employees who might be contributing more than those executives who sleep less than 6 hours per night. It might be possible that those people might be sleeping more than 6 hours per night. There is no such specific data given by the author. The author is not clear about all the employees in the survey.

So coming to the conclusion that the person having less sleeping time and with full of skills might contribute with the author’s argument but the person should have sufficient satisfactory sleep to have fresh mind to start the work correctly. If the mind is fresh than the work can become beautiful which can benefit the firm more. Thus, the author fails in some arguments.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The author shows in the study that the f...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 453, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...nd the growth of the advertising firms. However the author has lack of evidence for his...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tions which are made in the article. Firstly, the average satisfying sleeping...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...g sleep less than 6 hours per night. Secondly, the author has only considered...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 519, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_NNS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'lesser skills than'?
Suggestion: lesser skills than
...employee sleeps less and will also have lesser skills then that it will not have so good impact on...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...act on the betterment of the business. Thirdly, in the firms where the survey h...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...about all the employees in the survey. So coming to ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 276, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...fresh mind to start the work correctly. If the mind is fresh than the work can bec...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1847.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 393.0 441.139720559 89% => OK
Chars per words: 4.69974554707 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35862902375 2.78398813304 85% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 204.123752495 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.409669211196 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 544.5 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.6952017989 57.8364921388 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.611111111 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8333333333 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.55555555556 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20964541932 0.218282227539 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0844059363561 0.0743258471296 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0930283494255 0.0701772020484 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13914792822 0.128457276422 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0911411502717 0.0628817314937 145% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 48.3550499002 139% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 9.98 12.5979740519 79% => Coleman_liau_index is low.
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.81 8.32208582834 82% => OK
difficult_words: 53.0 98.500998004 54% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.