The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal."A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situ

Essay topics:

The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.

"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

While it may be true that birth order influences individual's levels of stimulation, the present study extracts its conclusions from a small population of rhesus monkeys and does not explain other factors that may affect the levels of cortisol in firstborn monkeys. Additionally, the letter assumes that the conclusions are applicable for humans without explaining human behavior further. The argument finishes adding that first-time mother monkeys present high levels of cortisol where it is unclear the external influences and the process of pregnancy. Assuming that the study is indeed accurate and represents creditably the behavior of the 18 monkeys studied, this argument can be explained taking into account several situations which could undermine it.

Citing the study in firstborn monkeys, the author presents the evidence but it fails when describing the place where the monkeys live. There is a possibility that monkeys are pacific creatures with normal levels of cortisol, but if a predator would appear and have an encounter with the older monkey, it could have suffer some disorder. This monkey could associate danger when meeting other animals while its siblings would act normally around them. Given that there is no information about the family group, there is a chance where the mother of those monkeys could have died leading that the older monkey assumes the leader role. Monkeys have a sense of family and protection, and while we do not know the group of monkeys for sure, it results inconvenient to correlate birth order to levels of stimulation.

Next, the argument claims that such behavior are present in first-born humans. It is not clear, however, the genetic predisposition that those humans have. Humans are born with a very different set of characteristics even if they are siblings. Studies carried out with twins show that despite their genetic similitude, they can have different responses to stimuli. The older brother could react to a situation independently from the response of his/her younger brother. Therefore, we can find different scenarios where older brothers increase their levels of cortisol and other where they do not.

Last, building upon the fact that first-time mothers exhibit higher levels of cortisol, there is no evidence of the pregnancy history nor the dangers the mother monkey could have gone through. The other mothers could have had a normal pregnancy, but the first-time mother could have experienced a difficulty in the pregnancy leading to an abnormal increase in those hormones. Additionally, the social support of family members can play on the psyche of the first-time mother. The mother that have had several offspring could have been supported by all members of its group in terms of protection from other predators. The single mother, however, has to face the pregnancy alone and all existent dangers.

Monkeys are known for being social animals that live in groups. Its behavior resembles the complex human behavior; thus, it can be difficult to predict it bearing in mind that the environment can modify it. Based on the facts presented in the letter and knowing that the sample is not representative, other explanations can account for such increased level of cortisol under different levels of stimulation.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 316, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'suffered'.
Suggestion: suffered
...er with the older monkey, it could have suffer some disorder. This monkey could associ...
^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'while', 'as to']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.251318101933 0.25644967241 98% => OK
Verbs: 0.154657293497 0.15541462614 100% => OK
Adjectives: 0.101933216169 0.0836205057962 122% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0333919156415 0.0520304965353 64% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0386643233743 0.0272364105082 142% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.124780316344 0.125424944231 99% => OK
Participles: 0.0439367311072 0.0416121511921 106% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.70348684296 2.79052419416 97% => OK
Infinitives: 0.01230228471 0.026700313972 46% => Some infinitives wanted.
Particles: 0.00175746924429 0.001811407834 97% => OK
Determiners: 0.112478031634 0.113004496875 100% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0351493848858 0.0255425247493 138% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0193321616872 0.0127820249294 151% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3291.0 2731.13054187 120% => OK
No of words: 523.0 446.07635468 117% => OK
Chars per words: 6.29254302103 6.12365571057 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78217453174 4.57801047555 104% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.407265774379 0.378187486979 108% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.313575525813 0.287650121315 109% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.208413001912 0.208842608468 100% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.133843212237 0.135150697306 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70348684296 2.79052419416 97% => OK
Unique words: 250.0 207.018472906 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.478011472275 0.469332199767 102% => OK
Word variations: 56.1556153065 52.1807786196 108% => OK
How many sentences: 23.0 20.039408867 115% => OK
Sentence length: 22.7391304348 23.2022227129 98% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.7798912316 57.7814097925 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.086956522 141.986410481 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7391304348 23.2022227129 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.434782608696 0.724660767414 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 3.58251231527 28% => OK
Readability: 54.096683016 51.9672348444 104% => OK
Elegance: 1.85271317829 1.8405768891 101% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.4721985196 0.441005458295 107% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.109449431824 0.135418324435 81% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0708272163687 0.0829849096947 85% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.541760503997 0.58762219726 92% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.145884512032 0.147661913831 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.193265389058 0.193483328276 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.110023981079 0.0970749176394 113% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.386180214425 0.42659136922 91% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0961773934856 0.0774707102158 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.340438748398 0.312017818177 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0728179078186 0.0698173142475 104% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.33743842365 72% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.87684729064 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.82512315271 104% => OK
Positive topic words: 5.0 6.46551724138 77% => OK
Negative topic words: 10.0 5.36822660099 186% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.82389162562 71% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 14.657635468 116% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.