The following editorial appeared in the Elm City paper. "The construction last year of a shopping mall in downtown Oak City was a mistake. Since the mall has opened, a number of local businesses have closed, and the downtown area suffers from an acute parking shortage, and arrests for crime and vagrancy have increased in the nearby Oak City Park. Elm City should pay attention to the example of the Oak City mall and deny the application to build a shopping mall in Elm City."
Discuss how well reasoned . . . Etc.
Citing failure of operating the shopping mall in Oak City ,the author contends that Elm City should not follow the example of Oak city and turn down the applications to build a shopping mall. In support of this conclusion the author points out that the opening of the shopping mall in Oak city has led to the bankruptcy of a number of local business, an acute parking lot shortage and increasing arrests for crime and vagrancy. However, for a couple of reasons , this argument is indefensible.
To begin with, the evidence cited in support of the conclusion that building a shopping mall could be misleading. Although a lot of business have closed up, the author hasn’t provided evidence about how many new business have opened up at the same period. Moreover, the rising arrests doesn’t necessarily mean an increase crime occurrence. Perhaps it is due to the fact that the local government in Oak City has become more stringent over the security of the city
Second, given the evidence is reliable, the editorial assumes too hastily that all these negative consequences is attributed to the starting of the shopping mall. Because a mere chronologic relationship does not suffice to prove the former cause the latter. Many other possible factors could have resulted in the three issues cited. First, It is highly possible that the failure of several business is due to the economic depression rather than the competition of the new shopping mall and the economic downturn has also resulted in the high rate of crimes and a surging number in homeless people . Second, perhaps it is the government’s responsibility for the parking lot shortage, the government failed to make a better sign of the parking lot, and it’s even possible that this problem had existed long before the opening of the shopping mall.
Third, the editorial commits a fallacy of false analogy in assuming that Elm City will suffer the same fate as Oak City does. This analogy is untenable because similarities between Oak City and Elm city is not sufficient to warrant this claim. Even if opening a shopping mall in Oak City is a mistake, we cannot say that Elm City will not be succeed in opening a new shopping mall. It is highly possible that Elm City has a better balanced economic structure, which will not cause a fierce competition between established business and the new shopping mall. Also, perhaps in Elm city has a better design of the parking area and people have no difficulty in find a parking space.
As it stands, the argument is not persuasive. To make the argument more logical and more credible, the author have to consider the evidences used to bolster the conclusion more comprehensively and more carefully.
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Sentence: Although a lot of business have closed up, the author hasn't provided evidence about how many new business have opened up at the same period.
Error: hasn Suggestion: has
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 461 350
No. of Characters: 2196 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.634 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.764 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.623 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.263 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.537 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5