The following is a letter to the head of the tourism bureau on the island of Tria.
"Erosion of beach sand along the shores of Tria Island is a serious threat to our island and our tourist industry. In order to stop the erosion, we should charge people for using the beaches. Although this solution may annoy a few tourists in the short term, it will raise money for replenishing the sand. Replenishing the sand, as was done to protect buildings on the nearby island of Batia, will help protect buildings along our shores, thereby reducing these buildings' risk of additional damage from severe storms. And since beaches and buildings in the area will be preserved, Tria's tourist industry will improve over the long term."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the text above, the author presents the need to start charging people who use the beach in order to raise money and deal with the problem of sand erosion -by replenishing the sand-that troubles the Tria Islands. However, in order to determine whether this proposition would be effective, several additional evidences should be evaluated.
First of all, the author cites that charging people and specifically tourist for using the beache, will result to raise money and deal with the problem of erosion. However, he must provide evidence that people will be willing to pay money in order to stay in an already problematic, due to sand erosion beach, and not choose to go somewhere else. To be more precise, given that the beach is not in the best situation possible, it is very plausible for tourists to choose another beach as their destination rather that paying extra in this one. In addition, whose to say that they will not choose the adjacent island of Batia, thus affecting Tria's economy adversely.
Secondly, the author claims that replenishing the sand will result in dealing with the problem of sand erosion stating as an example the situation in the island of Batia. Although, several addition information should be provided of how replenishing the sand would be effective for the Tria Island's problem. To be more precise, there is no correlation between the intensity of the problem that Batia was dealing with and the one that Tria suffers from. Tria's problem of erosion can of a greater degree or even irreversible, thus replenishing the sand would be a huge waste of money and resources.
Finally, the author supports the view that after all those measurements, Tria's economy will eventually improve, failing to provide more evidence about the impact and the economic extend that such a measure will have in Tria's economy, given that an economy is influenced by a variety of factors, such as the tourist psychology about a place. To be more precise, tourists might change their holiday destination to another places, and as a result even though Tria will be a perfectly suited place for them they will not visit Tria, due to its additional costs that Tria enforced on them some years before.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that several measures must be inflicted in order to deal with the tremendous problem of sand erosion, however, the explanation provided by the author is based on assumptions and implications that weaken his argument.
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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Let's analyze the structure of the statement:
condition 1:
Erosion of beach sand along the shores of Tria Island is a serious threat to our island and our tourist industry. In order to stop the erosion, we should charge people for using the beaches. //maybe other reasons caused the erosion.
condition 2:
Although this solution may annoy a few tourists in the short term, it will raise money for replenishing the sand. //maybe it can't rise enough money wanted
condition 3:
Replenishing the sand, as was done to protect buildings on the nearby island of Batia, will help protect buildings along our shores, thereby reducing these buildings' risk of additional damage from severe storms. //your argument 2
conclusion:
And since beaches and buildings in the area will be preserved, Tria's tourist industry will improve over the long term.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 358 350
No. of Characters: 1727 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.35 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.824 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.545 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.62 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.404 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.637 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.12 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5