The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council."An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study repor

The writer argued that the nurtritional supplements origined from beneficia would be effective in reducing the absenteeism in schools and workplaces by adducing a so-called study reports. Nevetheless, the ideas given by the writer would be problematic for his overlooking some conditions.
Firstly, An investigation gave a setting that most of the people in East Maria have a high consumption of plant beneficia. Then this investigation said that East Meria people seldom to go hospital for the treatment of colds. Therefore, the writer thinked that the reason of East Maria people's health is eating beneficia. It might be true,but it has conditions. The writer neglected that people would use beneficia for various reasons. Surly they may use beneficia for eating, but that may not be the only reason for the high consumption. For instance, maybe the crops grown in the East Maria always suffer from the attacking of pests and bugs. So plantig some beneficia would play an important role in expelling them. Thus, it is hard to say that the low incident of colds would be related to the consumption of the plant benefica. On the other hand, the study didn't tell us whether the people in East Maria would have other diseases. We just know the propability of colds is very low. But maybe the local people would have a more dangerous disease. The study did not give us an enough explanation about all of this questions.
Secondly, the writer recommend a daily use of nutritional substances from beneficia. But he or she may not notice whether this kind of substances would have a counter-effect for out health. It may be really effective in healing colds for eating in once a week or twice a week, but whether it would be excessive to eat it everyday? What's more, the writer thinked that eating nutritional supplements from beneficia would be effective to reduce th absenteesim. However, the reasons for absenteesim is vairous. If the colds situation has been solved, people who are lazy of working would also have other excuses for their absences. The problem of absentessism would still not be extirated.
All in all, the writer didn't do a deep investigation for the problems. Whether the working environment or some other factors are the major reasons for their colds? What is the plant beneficia mainly used for? Whether the East Maria only have cold disease? If the writer could give the answers to all these questions above, he or she would have a stronger and convincing arguments.

Votes
Average: 6.5 (3 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 337, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , but
...th is eating beneficia. It might be true,but it has conditions. The writer neglected...
^^^^
Line 2, column 861, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... benefica. On the other hand, the study didnt tell us whether the people in East Mari...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 1111, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...e us an enough explanation about all of this questions. Secondly, the writer recomm...
^^^^
Line 3, column 321, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...whether it would be excessive to eat it everyday? Whats more, the writer thinked that ea...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 331, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
... would be excessive to eat it everyday? Whats more, the writer thinked that eating nu...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 514, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'colds'' or 'cold's'?
Suggestion: colds'; cold's
...sons for absenteesim is vairous. If the colds situation has been solved, people who a...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 24, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...t be extirated. All in all, the writer didnt do a deep investigation for the problem...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, really, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, thus, for instance, kind of, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2070.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 419.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.94033412888 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7621316022 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.474940334129 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 636.3 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.7709950955 57.8364921388 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 76.6666666667 119.503703932 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.5185185185 23.324526521 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.59259259259 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0432469031643 0.218282227539 20% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0142114345461 0.0743258471296 19% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.024341721998 0.0701772020484 35% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0327525926743 0.128457276422 25% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0266367990209 0.0628817314937 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 14.3799401198 67% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 48.3550499002 134% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 12.197005988 66% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 422 350
No. of Characters: 2024 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.532 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.796 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.672 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.63 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.716 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.63 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.296 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5