The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council. “An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where consumption of the plant beneficia is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of beneficia can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of nutritional supplements derived from beneficia. We predict this will dramatically reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces.”
The statement presents a recommendation from West Meria public health council that claims using a type of plant called beneficial results reduces the probability of catching cold. As the author argues the main reason of absenteeism in West Meria is catching a cold; thus the author assumes that consumption of nutritional supplements derived from beneficia can reduce absenteeism. Although the recommendation may seem to be reasonable at the first sight, there are a number of unexamined suppositions and unanswered questions which make the argument refutable.
Firstly, it is stated that the main reason of absenteeism is cold, however other reasons of absenteeism in West Meria are totally neglected. If the author seeks to consider cold as the major cause of being absent at school and workplace, he should provide incontrovertible evidence regarding the number of absent students and employees along with their reasons. Sufficient statistics and data about the percentage, number and reason of absent people are required to examine the reliability of recommendation. It is possible that people of West Meria have troubles with traffic, other diseases or even lethargy that they do not attend school or workplace very often.
Secondly, the author relies on the fact that people of east Meria visit doctor once or twice a year for treatment of cold. The author presumes that the reason of being strong against catching cold of residents of east Meria is using beneficia. However, he negates alternative possibilities such as life style and physical situation of people of east Meria. Perhaps, people of this region put on warm cloths, do regular exercises and follow a healthy diet that has made them strong against catching a cold. Additionally, the author does not compare the weather of east Meria to the west Meria. Maybe the inclement weather of west Meria leads to constant colds.
Thirdly, assuming that daily usage of beneficia may lessen the possibility of catching cold, the author needs to investigate the side effects of its daily usage. If the author seeks to reach at the conclusion that daily usage of beneficia in the form of nutritional supplements reduces colds, he should thoroughly evaluate further diseases that may occur by overconsumption of this compound. What if the people reveal a kind of allergy to this substance? In this case, the number of absent people not only will not reduce but also may increase because of chronic diseases caused by beneficia. Following that, having a substance as daily usage, one should investigate on its taste, color and smell. People cannot eat foods derived from beneficia in a daily manner, if they are not delicious.
To recapitulate, relying on the unexamined suppositions of using beneficia in a daily manner to reduce colds and providing recommendation to use this substance in a different region is untenable. The author needs to ponder over above-mentioned ambiguities and answer the questions to support his recommendation, otherwise the recommendation is refutable.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- somehow duplicated to argument 1
argument 3 -- not OK. Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of nutritional supplements derived from beneficia. We predict this will dramatically reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 485 350
No. of Characters: 2505 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.693 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.165 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.915 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.095 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.761 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 746, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a daily manner" with adverb for "daily"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...cannot eat foods derived from beneficia in a daily manner, if they are not delicious. To recapi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 76, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a daily manner" with adverb for "daily"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...xamined suppositions of using beneficia in a daily manner to reduce colds and providing recommend...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2558.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 485.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27422680412 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69283662038 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98719127657 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490721649485 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 805.5 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.0099072443 57.8364921388 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.80952381 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0952380952 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52380952381 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.109407807054 0.218282227539 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0383554566609 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.040059971679 0.0701772020484 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.065335828678 0.128457276422 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0399618557396 0.0628817314937 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.52 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 98.500998004 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.