The following is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University. "Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with our budget deficit. To address these problems, Humana University will begin immediately to create and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni. We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The argument with conclusion that the Humana University have to begin to create and promote online degree programs is rather weak. It is based on the premise that nearby Omni University succeed in the online programs, and that the enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with budget deficit for the past three years. However, there are still some missing evidence, i.e. many question needed to be answered, as explaned in the following paragraphs.
First, dose the tendencies of student enrollment in the two universities the same? The enrollment to the online programs of omi university increased. But it doesn't guarantee the success of those of Humana University if begining. Maybe the trend there is just give up studying in university and get to work since the widely-opened profit opportunities. This question should be adressed in the argument in order to clear the doubt.
Furthermore, with the aid of online degree programs, does the the cost of maintaining buildings surely decrease? If all the circumstances of the two school and the enrollment trends are the same, it might be right, for there are a decrease of expenditures for dormitory and classroom space. But what if there are something different? Maybe the buildings in Humana University are just too old that the cost to maintain them will increase every year, and the most effective way to tight the budget is destruct the old one and build another.
In addition, can this policy really solve the its budget problems? To solve them, one way is to decrease the cost, while the other is to increase the income. It will need more enrollment then ever to increase the income, and maybe less use to decrease the cost. Although it seemed that can be reached by starting the online program, the uncertainty of choice of students are still a question. After all, they might choose the nearby Omni University for the well-known online degree programs other than the novel one in Humana University.
In the end, the argument is rather weak. However, if the questions above can be answered properly, it will be greatly strengthened. Hence, it is still hard to be accepted. There are no way that the committee will agree this strategy.
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Sentence: Furthermore, with the aid of online degree programs, does the the cost of maintaining buildings surely decrease?
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and the
Sentence: Maybe the buildings in Humana University are just too old that the cost to maintain them will increase every year, and the most effective way to tight the budget is destruct the old one and build another.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and destruct
Sentence: However, there are still some missing evi.e.ce, i.e. many question needed to be answered, as explaned in the following paragraphs.
Error: explaned Suggestion: explained
Sentence: But it doesn't guarantee the success of those of Humana University if begining.
Error: begining Suggestion: beginning
Sentence: This question should be adressed in the argument in order to clear the doubt.
Error: adressed Suggestion: addressed
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 381 350
No. of Characters: 1837 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.418 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.822 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.624 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.182 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.502 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5