The following is from a recent email from the Diord Corp. Human Resources Manager: “Tobor Technologies
found that mental health problems and mental illness were responsible for about 15 percent of employee sick
days. Tobor amended its employee insurance plan so that workers receive the same coverage for mental illness
as they do for physical illness. In addition, the company hired an on-site psychologist and created a system
that allows workers to schedule confidential counseling appointments. After one year, the number of sick days
used by employees declined by 10 percent. Diord Corp. has had an increase in employee sick days over the
past two years, so we should introduce a similar insurance plan and counseling program. These measures will
surely reduce employee absenteeism and cause an increase in productivity.”
The author letter, about introducing the new policies in many aspects of the company's infrastructure, though looks proper and quietly concerned, it is lacking proper evidences to approve the modifications that are thought to be brought. Several assumptions are made and proper gist is not supplied to these assumptions, to agree upon. Hence, the claim made by the author is inherently flawed and requires more proofs to approve the conclusions stated.
Firstly, the author is claiming that Torbor technology found that mental illness is responsible for fifteen percent of the employees sick days and added that the company revised its medical insurance policy to cover the mental illness. Here, what sort of mental illness is not corroborated. Is it the mental illness like depression or is the work has made them mentally torpid which is making them to take a leave to have a break is not known. Since the type of mental illness is not stated, the conclusion of its revision of policy makes facile.
Secondly, the author is also stating that the company have hired a psychologist, to have confidential counseling to help them to mitigate the mental illness. With this claim, the author is stating that after one year, the number of sick days used by employees declined by ten percent. This conclusion is futile. The mental illness usually take very long time to heel. It may sometimes take many years. Hence, the statistics after one year may not be completely true. It may also be true that, some people left the company and the new joiners are not taking many leaves and so the number of employee's absent days are reduced to ten percent. Hence, with this assumption, the conclusion made is not acceptable.
Thirdly, by looking at the bird view results of the company's new policy, the author is stating that even David Corp also has to revise their policies so that it will help reduction in absenteeism of the employees. Here also, the author is not stating that what kind of illness the employees of David Corp are encumbered, the statistics of new joiners and old members of the corporation. Without this information, the conclusion stated to imbibe similar sort of policy is impotent.
Thus, in total, the author's concern all though to improve the productivity by adopting new policies seem amicable, due to missing assumptions and facts, the claim look futile. Still greater and deeper study has to be made to revise the company's policy and imbibe new rules to reduce the absenteeism.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 2028 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.829 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.557 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.611 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 37, Rule ID: ALLTHOUGH[2]
Message: Did you mean 'although'?
Suggestion: although
... Thus, in total, the authors concern all though to improve the productivity by adopting...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 177, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Still,
...tions and facts, the claim look futile. Still greater and deeper study has to be made...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 301, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...be new rules to reduce the absenteeism.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, still, third, thirdly, thus, as to, kind of, sort of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2084.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 420.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9619047619 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6500502712 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469047619048 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 647.1 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.6493415767 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.2 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.9 5.70786347227 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.140139380734 0.218282227539 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0461516221032 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0593388807547 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0765162855141 0.128457276422 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0860624505629 0.0628817314937 137% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.25 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.