The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
The author recommends that the Monarch Books open a café in its stores. The author’s argument assumes that the introducing a café with books in its stores will increase the number of customers. It is also assumed on the basis of the national census that children’s population under the age of ten will significantly decline. The customer rate at Monarch Books is compared with that of Regal Books which owns a cafe. The argument is full of holes and assumptions, and thus, not enough to lead the increase in popularity.
In the first place, the Monarch Books is quite popular among its customers because of its wide range of books on all subjects. People often visit cafés to eat, drink, meet or chat with others. It can attract those who want to read books in the store. Thus, it is not clear that all the customers would like to have a café. If the customer review is taken beforehand, it will help to understand the requirements of the store, including café.
In addition, to introduce a café in the store, the author recommends removing the children’s section of books. It is assumed that the population of the children under the age of ten will decline significantly, according to the national census. Here, the word “probably” indicates that the decline is not certain. This assumption might have been done on the basis of records of last five or ten years census. But, it cannot be assumed that this decline would continue. Hence, the children’s section must not be removed until there is an actual decline in the customers under the age of ten years.
Moreover, the author compares Monarch Books with Regal Books which owns a café. The Monarch Books is well-known for the collection of books which Regal Books might not be. The Regal Books might be famous for its café. It is not clear that the Regal Books succeeded in attracting more customers by introducing a café. Therefore, opening a café to attract more customers is not justifiable.
In conclusion, it would be better to consider customer reviews on introducing a café to the bookstore. The customer reviews will help in deciding the space for the cafe and the children’s section can be accordingly adjusted.
- The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books."We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because 50
- A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. 50
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK. The most recent national census may not apply this city.
argument 3 -- somehow duplicated to argument 1
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 376 350
No. of Characters: 1753 1500
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.403 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.662 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.544 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.348 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.218 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.522 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.468 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, hence, if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, well, in addition, in conclusion, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1857.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 376.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93882978723 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40348946061 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91408665449 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 204.123752495 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.420212765957 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 558.9 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 26.7999661428 57.8364921388 46% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 80.7391304348 119.503703932 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.347826087 23.324526521 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.4347826087 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.316096726089 0.218282227539 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104032367241 0.0743258471296 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0842167103403 0.0701772020484 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178561521085 0.128457276422 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0701181323133 0.0628817314937 112% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 14.3799401198 70% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.16 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 98.500998004 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.