The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
"Recently, there have been discussions about ending Grove College's century-old tradition of all-female education by admitting male students into our programs. At a recent faculty meeting, a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. However, Grove students, both past and present, are against the idea of coeducation. Eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Therefore, we recommend maintaining Grove College's tradition of all-female education. We predict that keeping the college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Whether Grove college should maintain all-female education tradition has been complicated in its implication and debated significantly. The college's governing committee recommend doing so, since they predict that keeping the college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially. To buttress their argument, the committee members cite the evidences of ideas of coeducation from both past and present students. Although the recommendation has its own merit, it does not necessarily have the predicted results due to uncertainty among survey and ambiguous causes of the results.
To begin with, in order to fully evaluate the argument, the question that requires answers from the author is whether survey from students can substantiate the recommendation. The author supposed that eighty percent of students wanted the school to remain all female, but what is the total number of this sample size? What are the class standings of those participants? How was the survey conducted, by face-to-face interviewing or anonymous online vote? Without detailed information about the survey, we cannot gain reliable conclusion. For example, suppose incoming students tend to be content with or are even attracted by the all-female policy while graduating seniors prefer co-educational policy. If a disproportionate number of survey’s respondents are incoming students, then the result would distort the entire student body’s opinions as a group. Similarly, if most survey participates are not donors of college, whose views differ from donor, then the survey can give little information about potential donation. Besides, the author fails to provide the sample size of these surveys. When only a few people took part in the survey, the results would not be a credible indication of prediction.
Moreover, another question needs to be answered is that whether there is a causal relationship between college all-female policy and morale among students. The administration provides no reason why morale would improve, as opposed to remaining at its current level, if the status is simply maintained. Besides, we should also be informed about other conditions that might affect morale. For instance, if tuition increases dramatically while many reputed professors left the college, the morale of students would be impacted negatively in this case. Only after justifying all possible circumstances with regards to students’ morale can we fully evaluate the predicted expectations.
Last but not least, the author should provide more information about the fact that whether all-female education will convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially. If alumnae are satisfied about the current all-female rule and think that it has given them adequate educational environment that prepared them for better jobs and better individuals, then they would keep making donations. However, we have to acknowledge that financial supports might be based on many other factors. It is plausible that alumnae devoting money or resources to college relies on their income and school’s demands. If the nation is experiencing business recession, then alumnae might save more money for themselves and make less donations. Quite likely, when student’s financial needs increase, such as updating educational equipment and technology and recruiting distinguished professors, more alumnae would be willing to do such favor. Hence, the continuation of financial perhaps cannot be expected wholly by all-female policy. Without examining the reasons behind alumnae’s financial support, we are not able to foresee the trend owing to the change.
To sum up, as it stands, the aforementioned recommendation from college committee is not a simple issue that can be addressed readily. To strengthen the predicted result, the author ought to offer evidences as follows: first, whether the survey results from both current students and alumnae are convincing; second, whether all-female mode will improve morale among students instead of stabilizing or even decreasing; last, whether financial support from alumnae is correlated to tradition of all-female education.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- more: those opposed coeducation in the survey may not support the college financially.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 628 350
No. of Characters: 3493 1500
No. of Different Words: 319 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.006 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.562 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.883 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 293 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 226 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 154 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 106 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.655 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.571 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.655 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.268 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.447 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1215, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...be a credible indication of prediction. Moreover, another question needs to be a...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 466, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...owledge that financial supports might be based on many other factors. It is plaus...
^^
Line 7, column 724, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun donations is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...save more money for themselves and make less donations. Quite likely, when student&a...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1165, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... foresee the trend owing to the change. To sum up, as it stands, the aforementio...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, hence, however, if, moreover, second, similarly, so, then, while, for example, for instance, such as, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3609.0 2260.96107784 160% => OK
No of words: 628.0 441.139720559 142% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.74681528662 5.12650576532 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.00598923014 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04350437507 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 326.0 204.123752495 160% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519108280255 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 1125.9 705.55239521 160% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 12.0 2.70958083832 443% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.5290586753 57.8364921388 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.448275862 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6551724138 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.27586206897 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0858483090665 0.218282227539 39% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0257204857828 0.0743258471296 35% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0362723346645 0.0701772020484 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0586467694331 0.128457276422 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0484746216552 0.0628817314937 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.24 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.07 12.5979740519 128% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.3 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 184.0 98.500998004 187% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 12.3882235529 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 17.0 11.9071856287 143% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.