The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
"We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But 80 percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In order to enhance moral of students and secure financial support which is provided by alumnae the tradition of all-female education should be preserved. This conclusion is buttressed by such evidences as that majority of incoming students as well as graduate ones want to remain the format of Grove College (GC). These facts are connected with the writers' conclusion by assumptions which ought to be analyzed carefully to estimate the soundess of the recommendation.
The main evidences which is given to us is that 80 per cent of current students strongly support the preservation of the century tradition. Perhaps, the students who are studing at GC based their decision about the educational institution on the format of education, consequently, the result of the survey does not reveal us a new inforamation. However, the collective of writers surmises that sticking to current format will augment the moral of the student. This assumption has no explicit support in the argument. How absence of males in surroundings may affect females moral? In fact, this void of interaction between two genders may be harmful for students due to the fact that thay may not acquire some valuable experience of communitcation and working with men. The authors of the recommendation might have made the recommendation stronger had they demonstrated that males have a negative impact on females' moral or thet absence of interaction between genders positively influence on moral development of women. Till the writers do not give us such information the effect of all-female educational format on female students is not conspucuous.
Additonally to it, the argument avers that a mere adherence to the old tradition will improve the moral of GC's students. In fact, this assumption is opposing a common logic. If everything is the same, nothing should happen. In other words, some actions should be taken by GC's staff in order to enhance the moral of students. However, we were not told about them therefore, the authors' belief that moral will improve. if the format remains unaltered is unwarranted.
Besides, the recommendation claims that adherence to the old format will secure financial support of the college by alumane. We know that more than 50 per cent of graduate students support the all-female education. The collective of authors assumes that these 50 per cent consists students who give money to GC. At the same time, this belief has not support in the argument. Perhaps, students who want remain GC all-famale give no money to it. The authors' interpretation of the data of survey is unreasonable and therefore possibly fallacious. In order to buttress the recommendation the writers could have given us data how many of students who want to preserve the tradition give money to GC. Till we have this information the authros assumption is unproved and perhaps, fallacious.
In conclusion, the president and administrative staff of GC maintain that adherence to century-old tradition of all-famale format secure financial support of GC by alumnae and improve moral of the student; however, they do not manage to support the conclusion properly and given data may be interpreted in a variety of different ways.
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Sentence: These facts are connected with the writers' conclusion by assumptions which ought to be analyzed carefully to estimate the soundess of the recommendation.
Error: soundess Suggestion: soundness
Sentence: Perhaps, the students who are studing at GC based their decision about the educational institution on the format of education, consequently, the result of the survey does not reveal us a new inforamation.
Error: inforamation Suggestion: information
Error: studing Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In fact, this void of interaction between two genders may be harmful for students due to the fact that thay may not acquire some valuable experience of communitcation and working with men.
Error: communitcation Suggestion: communication
Error: thay Suggestion: they
Sentence: The authors of the recommendation might have made the recommendation stronger had they demonstrated that males have a negative impact on females' moral or thet absence of interaction between genders positively influence on moral development of women.
Error: thet Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Till the writers do not give us such information the effect of all-female educational format on female students is not conspucuous.
Error: conspucuous Suggestion: conspicuous
Sentence: Besides, the recommendation claims that adherence to the old format will secure financial support of the college by alumane.
Error: alumane Suggestion: alumnae
Sentence: Perhaps, students who want remain GC all-famale give no money to it.
Error: all-famale Suggestion: allowable
Sentence: Till we have this information the authros assumption is unproved and perhaps, fallacious.
Error: authros Suggestion: authors
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK. argue against the survey: maybe students who like female only education are likely to take part the survey. and incoming students may want coeducation too.
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 519 350
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.773 4.7
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 10.12 7.5
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5