The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid — a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil — as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the newsletter report, the author recommends the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, to prevent cold and therefore lower absenteeism. He/she reaches this conclusion by citing a report which states consumption of fish can prevent colds. However, to properly evaluate the author’s arguments, the following assumptions must be analyzed.
Citing the study’s report, the author wrongly assumes that what happens in East Meria also applies to West Meria. This is simply not true because they are two different places; it’s like comparing North Korea to South Korea. Therefore, the fact that cold is the major cause of absenteeism in East, doesn’t mean it’s the same cause of absenteeism in West Meria. Also, the author assumes the rate of absenteeism is also high in West Meria. While this may be true, there’s no direct evidence to back this up. For all we know, absenteeism in West Meria might currently be on an all-time low! If that’s true, the author’s argument is weakened and doesn’t hold water.
Likewise, the author concludes consuming diets rich in fish is the sole reason for the people of East Meria not experiencing much cold. What if that’s not the case? What if it’s because of a different factor or an amalgam of factors? For all we know it could be that East Meria is a hot region, therefore people seldom experience cold. If that is true, then the author’s stance is seriously undermined. Furthermore, the report doesn’t provide any concrete evidence to support its results. There’s no direct correlation as to why fish consumption is the reason for reduced cold for the people of East Meria. It merely just states people complain less of cold because fish consumption is high without any scientific or nutritional reason(s) to back this up. If truly the high consumption of fish is not the reason for reduced colds in East Meria, then the author’s suggestion of using Ichthaid to the inhabitants of West Meria is invalidated.
Lastly, the report states that cold as the most frequent excuse for absence from school and work. The implication of this is that the author believes the excuses given are true. What if most of the people that were absent from school and work lied about catching a cold? What if they were perfectly okay and are just lazy people? It’s also possible something else caused their absence such as a family emergency and they just felt citing cold as the reason is more convenient that going into details of why they were really absent. If that’s the case, then the author’s suggestion of using Ichthaid is weakened.
In conclusion, the author’s argument is deeply flawed because it is based on several baseless assumptions. To properly evaluate the author’s suggestion of using Ichthaid to prevent cold and hence absenteeism from school and work, the author has to provide concrete proof (maybe in form of a detailed research study) that indeed cold is the reason people missed school and work in East Meria and that consuming fish supplements can help combat this. Otherwise, the author’s current argument, as it stands, is flawed and doesn’t hold.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 18 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 531 350
No. of Characters: 2532 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.8 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.768 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.498 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.964 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.675 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.475 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, hence, however, if, lastly, likewise, may, really, so, then, therefore, while, as to, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2652.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 526.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04182509506 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78901763229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6414254641 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.442965779468 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 777.6 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 59.2636803906 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.2222222222 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4814814815 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.7037037037 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.148690350541 0.218282227539 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0458856714379 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.050021457517 0.0701772020484 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0914676851741 0.128457276422 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0431666614449 0.0628817314937 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.79 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.