The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Iachthaid — a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil — as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The report that appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council makes a direct link between absenteeism in schools and the quantity of fish consumed. This is based on a study in the nearby town where more fish consumption resulted in less people visiting the doctor for the treatment of cold. The report then moves forward to state that eating more fish will result in less cold. On the basis of these observations, it arrives to a conclusion that lachthaid (which is derived from fish oil) should be consumed regularly in order to reduce the absenteeism in schools. However, the report fails to answer many of the critical questions which as necessary to justify the claims made by it.
The report begins by stating that treatment can significantly reduce absenteeism. However, there can be numerous causes for absenteeism and not just cold. It fails to provide the necessary evidence that the people are absent because of cold. Also, the term significant is relative and does not indicate the actual amount of reduction in absenteeism. The actual figures are required in order to prove that there is a major change in the number of people present.
Further the report takes into account the study of East Meria. No information is provided to prove the authenticity of the survey. The survey may be biased in many ways such as the number of people included and may not tend to represent the ground truth of East Meria. The smaller number of people attending the doctors for the treatment of cold present only a partial picture. It may be possible that due to eating excessive fish, people may be suffering from other diseases. No related information is provided that can account for this fact. Furthermore, demographics of both West and East Meria would be required in order to truly assess the claim.
The report further encourages the daily use of lachthaid, a nutritional supplement that is derived from fish oil. There is no data given regarding the health issues after consuming lachthaid. It may be possible that consuming lachthaid on a daily basis may be have detrimental effects on the health of people. The report also states that the most frequent reason for the absence of people is cold. But without the actual figures, this claim is vague as the frequency of other reasons for absence may be too close to the frequency of cold in number. The report also does not explicate why the nutritional supplement of lachthaid is encouraged rather than eating fish on a daily basis.
Clearly, after analyzing the points above, it can be said that the report lacks evidence to prove certain claims that are made. Evidences such as the actual figures, the credibility of the surveys conducted in East Meria, the side effects of overconsumption of fish, the demographics of East and West Meria, and the statistics related to the reasons for absenteeism are not provided in the report. Therefore, people can disagree with the claim and without the answers to these questions, the argument would turn out to be untenable.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 516 350
No. of Characters: 2477 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.766 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.8 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.584 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 181 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.502 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.292 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 255, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...where more fish consumption resulted in less people visiting the doctor for the trea...
^^^^
Line 4, column 534, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: cold
...ce may be too close to the frequency of cold in number. The report also does not explicate why...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, may, regarding, so, then, therefore, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2534.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 516.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91085271318 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76609204519 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6456739443 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.43023255814 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 782.1 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.6379842412 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.4615384615 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8461538462 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.11538461538 5.70786347227 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.197295480916 0.218282227539 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0621265304851 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0772681372108 0.0701772020484 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122014793739 0.128457276422 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0536620049753 0.0628817314937 85% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.