The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid—a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil—as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this report, the author claims that the daily use of Ichthaid can prevent cold and lower absenteeism. To support her argument, she cited a study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment and points out other assumptions. Careful scrutiny reveals that this argument has several logical flaws.
First, based on the study reports in nearby East Meria, she hastily assumes that the number of treatment can is the result of high fish consumption. Common sense tells us, however, there are many factors that infection of cold. Perhaps, people in Meria could have a genetic trait which is beneficent for resisting against cold or have habits which wash their hands often. Until the author explains the reason why she thinks the lower cold incidence is followed by high fish consumption, this argument would be not proper.
Second, even if high fish consumption could affect the occurrence of cold, she improperly assumes that the Ichthaid is same as fish oil. In reality, there are many examples that the artificial chemical material derived from the original by changing a little part of original materials' chemical elements could have totally different effects or, even, side effects. If she cannot present us specified data about the effects of the dietary supplement, we cannot be convinced by this argument.
Finally, even if other problematic assumptions are true, there still is a most critical assumption. Is the most important cause of absenteeism cold? My answer is no. there are many reasons for people to absent schools and companies such as relatives' funeral or wedding, oversleeping or even other diseases. she has to explain the reason she thinks that the most frequent reason for absenteeism is cold to make her report more persuasive.
In conclusion, this report is dubious as it stands. To make this argument more precise, the author must give us data which is whether ichthaid and original fish oil have same the function and explain affection for high fish consumption on cold incidence. To rate better, we must know why she thinks that the most frequent reason for absenteeism is cold.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 365 350
No. of Characters: 1794 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.371 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.915 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.453 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.08 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.172 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 110, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'be'
Suggestion: be
...ssumes that the number of treatment can is the result of high fish consumption. Co...
^^
Line 9, column 308, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: She
...g, oversleeping or even other diseases. she has to explain the reason she thinks th...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, second, so, still, as to, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 55.5748502994 54% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1856.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 365.0 441.139720559 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.08493150685 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37092360658 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53996984244 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.528767123288 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 558.0 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.1152088713 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.111111111 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2777777778 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.27777777778 5.70786347227 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0830347319087 0.218282227539 38% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0315964723308 0.0743258471296 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0385414561466 0.0701772020484 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0540238825998 0.128457276422 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329846468851 0.0628817314937 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.