An international development organization in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A While seeds for this new type of millet cost more farmers will be paid

Essay topics:

An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.

The author states that an international organization in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A and wants the government to promote it because he believes the people will readily adopt it. A number of questions need to be answered before this recommendation can be taken.

Firstly, the author states that the nation of Tagus is impoverished but offers no insight into the cause of the impoverishment. He bases it solely on the deficiency of Vitamin A but offers no follow up facts to buttress this point. The impoverishment could be due to lack of other nutrients such as Vitamin D, K etc. It could also be due to economic stagnation. Therefore, the cause of the impoverishment is required.

Secondly, assuming the the author is right about the cause of the poverty , he/she also states that the farmers will be paid subsidies for farming this variety of millet but offers no information to the number of people engaging in farming in Tagus. It is possible that the nation does not have enough farmers and barely providing incentives such as subsidies, will not produce the desired outcome.

The author also infers that because millet is a stable food in Tagus, that the people will readily adopt the new variety. Based on this assumption, no information supporting this assertion is provided. There could also be other staple foods present in Tagus, such as beans, rice etc. The consumption rates of these alternatives could be higher than that of millet and may not subsequently mean the people of Tagus would rush for the new variety.

Fourthly, it isn't stated if there are any side effects of this new variety of millet. Since it was not grown naturally, empirical information of the effects of this new breed on humans is needed before government can take such a decisive act as promoting the new variety of millet.

Finally, the author may actually have merits to his claim that there is an actual deficiency of Vitamin A in Tagus and the best way to solve it, is for the government to promote this new variety. But until all the questions are answered, it will be difficult to accept such a position taken by the author.

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Average: 4.5 (4 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 177, Rule ID: A_BUT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'a bit'?
Suggestion: A bit
... it solely on the deficiency of Vitamin A but offers no follow up facts to buttress t...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...nt is required. Secondly, assuming the the author is right about the cause of the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...nt is required. Secondly, assuming the the author is right about the cause of the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 74, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... is right about the cause of the poverty , he/she also states that the farmers wil...
^^
Line 17, column 14, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
... for the new variety. Fourthly, it isnt stated if there are any side effects of...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1866.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 386.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.83419689119 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43248042346 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75984234402 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.450777202073 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 594.0 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.2380106015 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.764705882 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7058823529 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.58823529412 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.425766015745 0.218282227539 195% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.129055782852 0.0743258471296 174% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101146519673 0.0701772020484 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.230212953648 0.128457276422 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.104017161418 0.0628817314937 165% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.03 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 1804 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.649 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.69 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.17 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.659 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5