In this argument, the developers claims that a jazz club would be a tremendously profitable enterprise.They believe that jazz is extremely popular in Monroe and the proposed new jazz club would successfully dominate local market.However, a careful scrutiny of this argument reveals that the evidence we have is not enough to prove the developers' claim.
To convince us,firstly, the developers has to provide the evidence that the statistics in the nationwide surveyed mentioned apply equal to Monroe. However, the fact that the typical jazz fan spends close to 1000 dollars per year on jazz entertainment does not mean that local people in Monroe will spend that much money going to the jazz club. They may buy jazz albums or go to jazz concerts instead.Without ruling out these possibilities, the developers's assumption that the jazz club will make profits is undermined.
In addition,there is no sufficient evidence to show that jazz is extremely popular in Monroe.While we concede that over 100000 people attended the annual jazz festival last summer, it is unsure whether people were satisfied with the performances and decided to attend again this year.Moreover, the fact that 'Jazz Nightly' has a high listening rate is not equal to people's affinity with jazz music. Perhaps they listened to such radio programs just to kill their time .Either of these scenarios, if true, would weaken the developers's conclusion that jazz is extremely popular in Monroe.
Even if a jazz club is able to gain popularity among local residents in Monroe, we are not assured that the proposed jazz club will become a hit and make enormous profits in the future. The developer fail to provide any evidence that they have the capacity to operate it well and satisfy the customers’ needs. If the services in the jazz club are too expensive, few people could afford. On the contrary, if the membership fee is too cheap, it would require a huge number of club members to make profits. Without taking into consideration such possibilities, the developers fail to substantiate his claim that a jazz club must be a profitable enterprise in Monroe.
To sum up, the developers fail to convince us of his conclusion because the evidence cited in the argument does not lend credible support to what the author maintains. To assure us, they need to provide more solid evidence.
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 396 350
No. of Characters: 1921 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.461 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.851 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.615 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.31 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.407 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.195 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 104, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: They
...be a tremendously profitable enterprise.They believe that jazz is extremely popular ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 230, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...ould successfully dominate local market.However, a careful scrutiny of this argument re...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 15, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , firstly
...ve the developers claim. To convince us,firstly, the developers has to provide the evid...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 400, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Without
...z albums or go to jazz concerts instead.Without ruling out these possibilities, the dev...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 12, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , there
...make profits is undermined. In addition,there is no sufficient evidence to show that ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: While
...hat jazz is extremely popular in Monroe.While we concede that over 100000 people atte...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 284, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Moreover
...s and decided to attend again this year.Moreover, the fact that Jazz Nightly has a high ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 363, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'people'.
Suggestion: people
...s a high listening rate is not equal to peoples affinity with jazz music. Perhaps they ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 465, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...h radio programs just to kill their time .Either of these scenarios, if true, woul...
^^
Line 3, column 467, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Either
...radio programs just to kill their time .Either of these scenarios, if true, would weak...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, so, well, while, as to, in addition, on the contrary, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1968.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 389.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05912596401 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91814884481 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.508997429306 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 619.2 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 92.7905958304 57.8364921388 160% => OK
Chars per sentence: 151.384615385 119.503703932 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.9230769231 23.324526521 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.23076923077 5.70786347227 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.445895996974 0.218282227539 204% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.159436866809 0.0743258471296 215% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.13027607061 0.0701772020484 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.256611064398 0.128457276422 200% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.14830300628 0.0628817314937 236% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 14.3799401198 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.66 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.81 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 12.3882235529 161% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 20.0 11.9071856287 168% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.