"A novel therapy has come to our attention that promises to significantly decrease the incidence of dementia in our aging community. According to a 21-year study led by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and funded by the National Institute on Aging, while many physical activities like playing tennis or golf, swimming, bicycling, dancing, and walking for exercise provided cardiovascular benefits for seniors, only one physical activity offered protection against dementia: that was frequent dancing. At GoldenAge we currently provide residents with extensive recreational facilities. These include tennis courts, a fitness center, and lap pools in each senior apartment complex. However, we have no dance studio space at GoldenAge, nor any social dance programs.
Clearly, social dancing can prevent or delay the onset of dementia. Since the onset of dementia inevitably signals the imminent move of residents from our independent living apartments to the more heavily staffed and therefore more costly to operate assisted living quarters, we recommend the establishment of social dance programs at all GoldenAge senior residences—as a cost-effective, positive way to ward off dementia and enable our residents to remain in their independent living quarters."
Respond by writing an essay in which you discuss the specific evidence you would need to judge the validity of the argument and explain how this evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument
The follwing recommendation is about instituiting dance schools in the GoldenAge residency. This recommendation is based uopn a study report by Einstein college of medicine about tob reatrd the rate of aging and dementia. The argument is absed upon the unfounded assumptions.
Firstly, the recommendation assumes that dancing can reatrd old aging and dementia based upon the research study by a institution which doesnot necessarilly belongs to that city. Since, GoldenAge rewsindency is not necessarily in the same city where research was carried out, recommendation totally disreagrds the fact that people of GoldenAge may have different psycholgy. That may result to have different cure for mentioned problem. Also, the credibility of the reaserch is aslso questionalbe. Rather making assumption on such study, the recommendation would have taken reference of kindred study.
Secondly, the study assumes that all of the residency of GoldenAge will join dancing class by disregarding their interest. People may be interested on other soprting activites rather dance dancing. People may belong to the different culture. Further, the recommendation assumes that establishing dance school, are really cheap. This is also a apotheoisis of unfounded assumption taken in the recommendation. Esatablishing new dance school may require even a new bulding, large numbers of trainer and other facilities which might be really high. So, recommendation rather have taken in account of peoples interest and cost of establishing dance school.
Further cursory examination reavels that recommendation assumens the best way of reducing old age is creating dance school. This study tokens the possiblities oif other potential alternatives and compares only with sporting activities. There should be another way too like hiking, volunteering in socialn activities which are really supposed to be very helpful on mental and physical heatlth. So, the recommendation would have consider other study which might reveal other alternatives where more people could engage more happily.
In conclusion, the recommendation is based upon very unfounded assumptions which are weaking the argument. To strengthen the argument, the recommendation would have focused on the other potential alternatives for the solution of the problem like making light on the other study and making more acceptable conclusion.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-14 | Haphisz | 49 | view |
| 2019-01-14 | Kaurab Gautam | 72 | view |
| 2015-07-31 | damon salvatore | 65 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: So, recommendation rather have taken in account of peoples interest and cost of establishing dance school.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to peoples and interest
Sentence: So, the recommendation would have consider other study which might reveal other alternatives where more people could engage more happily.
Description: A verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to have and consider
Sentence: The follwing recommendation is about instituiting dance schools in the GoldenAge residency.
Error: residency Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: instituiting Suggestion: instituting
Error: follwing Suggestion: following
Sentence: This recommendation is based uopn a study report by Einstein college of medicine about tob reatrd the rate of aging and dementia.
Error: reatrd Suggestion: retard
Error: dementia Suggestion: demented
Error: uopn Suggestion: upon
Error: tob Suggestion: ton
Sentence: The argument is absed upon the unfounded assumptions.
Error: absed Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Firstly, the recommendation assumes that dancing can reatrd old aging and dementia based upon the research study by a institution which doesnot necessarilly belongs to that city.
Error: reatrd Suggestion: retard
Error: dementia Suggestion: demented
Error: doesnot Suggestion: despot
Error: necessarilly Suggestion: necessarily
Sentence: Since, GoldenAge rewsindency is not necessarily in the same city where research was carried out, recommendation totally disreagrds the fact that people of GoldenAge may have different psycholgy.
Error: psycholgy Suggestion: psychology
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: rewsindency Suggestion: residence
Error: disreagrds Suggestion: disregards
Sentence: That may result to have different cure for mentioned problem.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Also, the credibility of the reaserch is aslso questionalbe.
Error: reaserch Suggestion: reach
Error: aslso Suggestion: also
Error: questionalbe Suggestion: questionable
Sentence: Secondly, the study assumes that all of the residency of GoldenAge will join dancing class by disregarding their interest.
Error: residency Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: People may be interested on other soprting activites rather dance dancing.
Error: activites Suggestion: activities
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: soprting Suggestion: sorting
Sentence: This is also a apotheoisis of unfounded assumption taken in the recommendation.
Error: apotheoisis Suggestion: apotheosis
Sentence: Esatablishing new dance school may require even a new bulding, large numbers of trainer and other facilities which might be really high.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: bulding Suggestion: building
Sentence: Further cursory examination reavels that recommendation assumens the best way of reducing old age is creating dance school.
Error: reavels Suggestion: revels
Error: assumens Suggestion: assumes
Sentence: This study tokens the possiblities oif other potential alternatives and compares only with sporting activities.
Error: oif Suggestion: off
Error: possiblities Suggestion: possibilities
Sentence: There should be another way too like hiking, volunteering in socialn activities which are really supposed to be very helpful on mental and physical heatlth.
Error: heatlth Suggestion: health
Error: socialn Suggestion: social
Sentence: In conclusion, the recommendation is based upon very unfounded assumptions which are weaking the argument.
Error: weaking Suggestion: No alternate word
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 28 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 354 350
No. of Characters: 1988 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.338 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.616 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.114 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.91 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 117, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...mentia based upon the research study by a institution which doesnot necessarilly ...
^
Line 3, column 498, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Rather,
... of the reaserch is aslso questionalbe. Rather making assumption on such study, the re...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 34, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...dy. Secondly, the study assumes that all of the residency of GoldenAge will join dancin...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 342, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... school, are really cheap. This is also a apotheoisis of unfounded assumption tak...
^
Line 5, column 432, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... recommendation. Esatablishing new dance school may require even a new bulding, l...
^^
Line 5, column 597, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...endation rather have taken in account of peoples interest and cost of establishin...
^^
Line 7, column 428, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'considered'.
Suggestion: considered
...tlth. So, the recommendation would have consider other study which might reveal other al...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, may, really, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2039.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 354.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.75988700565 5.12650576532 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33761313653 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.17127984635 2.78398813304 114% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.519774011299 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 639.0 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.495203441 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.0952380952 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.8571428571 23.324526521 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.33333333333 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0558640360798 0.218282227539 26% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0186602540562 0.0743258471296 25% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0411320884151 0.0701772020484 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0422646459805 0.128457276422 33% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0372702295515 0.0628817314937 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.31 48.3550499002 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.83 12.5979740519 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.85 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.