"A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Using electronic monitoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climpson employees spend on personal or recreational activities. We predict that installing software to monitor employees' Internet use will allow us to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby increasing productivity and improving overall profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
While it may be true that if the Climpson company establishes monitoring program, it will prevent employees to waste time at work; however, the writer's argument does not make a cogent case. It is easy to understand that majority of workers may use the company internet for their individual activities, but the vice president of human resources at Climpson productions needs verifiable evidences to prove this recommendation.
The vice president of human resources mentions that majority of staffs use company computers and internet for personal activities such as playing game or banking. However, the arguer does not provide indications for his/her prediction. There is a high possibility that workers could use the company internet during their break times. Staffs may use the internet for work related activities which is their rights. For example, using a company internet to check a bank account for pay stub accuracy is rational because this activity is related to work.
In addition, the author recommends monitoring employees for internet use which is not a good idea. The reason is workers may think that the corporation does not trust them anymore which is not going to make good connection and communication between workers and the company administers. Employees may even quit their jobs because they may not be willing to work where there is pressure on them. Moreover, worker may get tired to work constantly all day which will not result in productivity improvements or company profits. To strengthen this recommendation, the arguer needs to make consider other factors that can affect efficiency development rather than monitoring employees for the internet use. There are other ways to improve the industry profit such as team work, communication, promotion, or rewards.
The arguer does not discuss about employees' personal devices which can be used easily without any monitoring. For example, a male worker who does not have authorization to use the company computer for personal activities will use his cellphone to check his bank account. Therefore, installation that software to screen workers will not be advantageous that much.
The vice president of human resources at Colson industries can make this suggestion persuasive when he/she gathers information about the amount of time that employees spend on the internet for their personal needs and if they use the internet during their break times or not. The other factors that affect the productivity need to be investigated too. After answering these questions, the arguer can make such an assumption.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 410 350
No. of Characters: 2130 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.5 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.195 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.793 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.138 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.338 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.12 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 145, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
...ees to waste time at work; however, the writers argument does not make a cogent case. I...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, while, for example, in addition, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2173.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 408.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32598039216 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86146791111 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.480392156863 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 675.9 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.0660473197 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.368421053 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4736842105 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.94736842105 5.70786347227 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.326463218481 0.218282227539 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113091363582 0.0743258471296 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0706926998147 0.0701772020484 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.198495236986 0.128457276422 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0639612751517 0.0628817314937 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.63 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 98.500998004 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.