"A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Using electronic monitoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climpson employees spend on personal or recreational activities. We predict that installing software to monitor employees' Internet use will allow us to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby increasing productivity and improving overall profits."
In this argument, the vice president of HR department asserts that monitoring employees’ internet use will increase efficacy as well as overall profit by restricting personal use of company computers. However, the argument depends on several unsubstantiated assumptions and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
First, the vice president assumes that implementing the monitoring system of internet use from the company workstations will increase the employees’ efficiency. It may be somewhat effective to control internet activities using the company computer. However, it is also possible that this measure causes a reaction of encouraging workers to use their smartphone or tablet PC instead of workstations for internet during the work time and the company has no control of it. Because of the monitoring system, the overall time employee spend for personal matter may increase; thus, the measure may damage the company’s profitability even further.
Second, the argument cited that installing software is the best way to monitor the employees’ inappropriate internet use. There are a few things about the software that the company needs to consider. A substantial amount of expense is necessary either the company buys the software from a third-party provider or it implements its own system. The company should compare the cost of the software with the potential profit made by using it to monitor employees’ internet activities. Besides, the software does not have a feature to decide which activities are allowed but have a list of sites which it needs to block the access. For example, an employee visits Amazon.com to buy office supplies; however, the software blocks the access because the site was categorized as a shopping site. The software impedes a workflow by doing what it was designed for.
Lastly, the vice president asserts that unnecessary time that employees spent on personal and recreational activities is the only factor that damages the company’s productivity. It might be more correct if the exhaustive review should be performed for the entire company to determine what really brings down the efficiency of the company. The damages on the productivity were done by inessential steps in decision-making processes, or probably by wasting a large amount of money on stationery items in the offices. It is hard to conclude that the personal use of workstations by an employee is the reason for the low productivity with given evidence.
In conclusion, the argument fails to provide enough evidence for using software that monitors employees’ internet use from company workstation will increase the company’s efficacy and thus, its profit because it primarily relies on the weak assumptions and insufficient grounds mentioned above. Since the argument does not present reliable data on a correlation between personal internet use and the company’s productivity, the mechanism how the monitoring software works, and other factors may bring down the efficiency, it lacks logical reasoning and evidence.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2510 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.34 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.939 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 207 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 173 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 123 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.366 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.563 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 872, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...flow by doing what it was designed for. Lastly, the vice president asserts that ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, however, if, lastly, may, really, second, so, therefore, third, thus, well, for example, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2620.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 470.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.57446808511 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65612321451 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.21272086766 2.78398813304 115% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.491489361702 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 835.2 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.8811187868 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.894736842 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7368421053 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.42105263158 5.70786347227 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221916489398 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.07999439996 0.0743258471296 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0520041735366 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136834643158 0.128457276422 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0257854108598 0.0628817314937 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 30.2 48.3550499002 62% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.32 12.5979740519 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.76 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.