A recent national survey found that a significant proportion of office workers use company time for purely recreational or
personal purposes. In order to ensure that our employees remain focused on work during work hours, we should therefore use hidden cameras to monitor employees interactions and cell phone usage while they are on company premises. Electronically monitoring our employees in this way will greatly reduce the number of hours Bizware Software employees spend on non-productive activities, such as gossip around the coffee machine or on personal calls. We predict that not only will this measure increase Bizware productivity and profits by preventing employees from misusing company time but it will also reduce our losses by bringing down theft of company property.
The author states that electronically monitoring employees in the company premises will not only increase Bizware's productivity and profits but also reduces losses by bringing down theft of company property. The argument looks perfect and logical yet it is indeed specious.Many questions need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation of electronically monitoring employees will have the predicted result or not.
Firstly, the author states that a national survey found that a significant amount of office workers use company time for personal purposes and recreational activities. There is no information regarding when the survey was conducted. The survey might have been conducted long back when there were no proper rules and regulations imposed on the employees. There is no information in the passage about the survey. The survey might have been focused on the youngsters. The new joiners or the freshers tend to spend time in the recreational facilities provided by the company. The age group should always be given preference in these kind of surveys. Not considering the important parameters like age group and the time during which the survey is conducted would seriously undermine the recommendation.
Secondly, the author says that in order to ensure that the employees remain focused on work during work hours, hidden cameras should be used to track the employees, employees' interactions and phone usage. The employees might use their cell phones during work hours to discuss some issues related to the work. There is no other equipment to find whether the employee to discussing personal matter or the things related to the work. The passage does not provide any information regarding where the hidden cameras will be fixed. Because the position of the hidden cameras should not interfere privacy space of an employee. Hence the questions like what are the places where the hidden cameras are fixed? and For what reason the employee is using the cell phone? These questions need to be answered so as to decide the feasibility of using hidden cameras and electronically monitoring the employees of the company.
Thirdly, author states that Bizware software employees spend on non~~~productive activities such as gossip around the coffee machine. There is no proof that the gossip of employees is useless. There can be productive interaction between two employees discussing the possible solutions for the problem which has occurred in the project implementation. Monitoring the employees continuously can also demotivate the employees of the company and in turn will reduce the profit. What time the employees should be monitored? what are the rules to be imposed on the employees so that they focus on the work during work time? These questions if unanswered could seriously undermine the validity of the recommendation.
Therefore many underlying questions need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation of electronically monitoring the employees feasible or not and whether this will increase productivity and profits or not by preventing the employees from wasting the work time.
- A recent national survey found that a significant proportion of office workers use company time for purely recreational orpersonal purposes. In order to ensure that our employees remain focused on work during work hours, we should therefore use hidden cam 50
- Some people believe that the government should impose a preferred way of life on its people. Others believe that thegovernment should leave its citizens free to choose their own values and ends 50
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 274, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Many
...t and logical yet it is indeed specious.Many questions need to be answered in order ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 573, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...nal facilities provided by the company. The age group should always be given prefer...
^^^
Line 3, column 624, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'these kinds'?
Suggestion: this kind; these kinds
...up should always be given preference in these kind of surveys. Not considering the importa...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 527, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...where the hidden cameras will be fixed. Because the position of the hidden cameras shou...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 621, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...interfere privacy space of an employee. Hence the questions like what are the places ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 702, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...ces where the hidden cameras are fixed? and For what reason the employee is using t...
^^^
Line 5, column 796, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...ne? These questions need to be answered so as to decide the feasibility of using hidden ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 520, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...time the employees should be monitored? what are the rules to be imposed on the empl...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... the validity of the recommendation. Therefore many underlying questions need to be an...
^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'firstly', 'hence', 'if', 'look', 'regarding', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'therefore', 'third', 'thirdly', 'as to', 'kind of', 'such as']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.269083969466 0.25644967241 105% => OK
Verbs: 0.18320610687 0.15541462614 118% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0496183206107 0.0836205057962 59% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0515267175573 0.0520304965353 99% => OK
Pronouns: 0.00572519083969 0.0272364105082 21% => Some pronouns wanted.
Prepositions: 0.110687022901 0.125424944231 88% => OK
Participles: 0.0706106870229 0.0416121511921 170% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.96302162301 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0286259541985 0.026700313972 107% => OK
Particles: 0.00190839694656 0.001811407834 105% => OK
Determiners: 0.143129770992 0.113004496875 127% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.030534351145 0.0255425247493 120% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0209923664122 0.0127820249294 164% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3142.0 2731.13054187 115% => OK
No of words: 493.0 446.07635468 111% => OK
Chars per words: 6.37322515213 6.12365571057 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71206996034 4.57801047555 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.41784989858 0.378187486979 110% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.310344827586 0.287650121315 108% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.231237322515 0.208842608468 111% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.170385395538 0.135150697306 126% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96302162301 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 207.018472906 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.440162271805 0.469332199767 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 49.8868409476 52.1807786196 96% => OK
How many sentences: 26.0 20.039408867 130% => OK
Sentence length: 18.9615384615 23.2022227129 82% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.3472186912 57.7814097925 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.846153846 141.986410481 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9615384615 23.2022227129 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.653846153846 0.724660767414 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 3.58251231527 251% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 49.9960212202 51.9672348444 96% => OK
Elegance: 1.87301587302 1.8405768891 102% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.203202116506 0.441005458295 46% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.150657354374 0.135418324435 111% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0864281440689 0.0829849096947 104% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.602302267902 0.58762219726 102% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.128016753643 0.147661913831 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0971961634923 0.193483328276 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0891841090555 0.0970749176394 92% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.514186359058 0.42659136922 121% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.101111949692 0.0774707102158 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144811993638 0.312017818177 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0302336022443 0.0698173142475 43% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.33743842365 96% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.87684729064 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.82512315271 166% => OK
Positive topic words: 8.0 6.46551724138 124% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 5.36822660099 93% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.82389162562 177% => OK
Total topic words: 18.0 14.657635468 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.