A recent survey of 250 adults between 30-45 showed an association between the number of hours adults spend online each day and self reporting of symptoms commonly associated with depression. The survey found that adults who spend 30 hours or more online each week were twice as likely as others to report that they “frequently” had trouble concentrating. Of adults who reported spending more than 30 hours per week online, 20% also reported that they had felt “sad, down or blue” at least three times within last month.
These results suggest that spending too much time online is linked to depression and people who want to improve their well-being should strictly limit the time they spend online.
In this morden day life where everything is through online, the author suggestion of spending limited hours doesn't hold good. Author conclusion is rife with assumpitions which let to questioning the conclusion.
The survey result that author has published is not lucid. The sample what author has taken cannot be applied to all as the people who has enrolled in this survey, earlier would not be habitual to the mentioned number of hour spent online i.e 30.Also It doesn't state the number of indivudal spending more than 30 hours. The figure may be 5 which is very less as compared to the sample size of 250.
Moreover, the individual who were enrolled would be having the sympotom i.e Lack of concentration befor the survey but they fail to notice it before.Also author mentioned 20% of the individual spending more that 30 hours reported sadness. The sadness may be due to some personal or work related it cannot be stated firmly the more 30 hours is causing this. Also as metioned above its not clear the number of individual spending more that 30 hours, so it will be unjust to say that 20% mentioned by author holds water. The individual spending 30 pus hour may be 5, and 20% of that will be 1 person which is very less as compared to 250.
Moreover, the author has assumpes that the result of survey taken of 250 between 30-45 applies to all the age. It is possible that the individual less that or more than the mentioned age group doesn't have this problem. Also author has linked this to overall improvemnet of well-being which has been assumed on the fact that the improvemnet can be done througn less hour spend online which is not true. It is not likely ,earlier the hours spent online will be utililized in some other healthy activity.
With the above explanation it unlikely that the spending of less hours online will improve the well-being of an individual. So, the aurthor claim cannot hold water
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Sentence: In this morden day life where everything is through online, the author suggestion of spending limited hours doesn't hold good.
Error: morden Suggestion: more
Sentence: Author conclusion is rife with assumpitions which let to questioning the conclusion.
Error: assumpitions Suggestion: assumptions
Sentence: The sample what author has taken cannot be applied to all as the people who has enrolled in this survey, earlier would not be habitual to the mentioned number of hour spent online i.e 30.Also It doesn't state the number of indivudal spending more than 30 hours.
Error: indivudal Suggestion: individual
Sentence: Moreover, the individual who were enrolled would be having the sympotom i.e Lack of concentration befor the survey but they fail to notice it before.Also author mentioned 20 of the individual spending more that 30 hours reported sadness.
Error: befor Suggestion: before
Error: sympotom Suggestion: symptom
Sentence: Also as metioned above its not clear the number of individual spending more that 30 hours, so it will be unjust to say that 20 mentioned by author holds water.
Error: metioned Suggestion: mentioned
Sentence: Moreover, the author has assumpes that the result of survey taken of 250 between 30-45 applies to all the age.
Error: assumpes Suggestion: assumes
Sentence: Also author has linked this to overall improvemnet of well-being which has been assumed on the fact that the improvemnet can be done througn less hour spend online which is not true.
Error: well-being Suggestion: welling
Error: througn Suggestion: through
Error: improvemnet Suggestion: improvement
Sentence: It is not likely ,earlier the hours spent online will be utililized in some other healthy activity.
Error: utililized Suggestion: utilized
Sentence: So, the aurthor claim cannot hold water
Error: aurthor Suggestion: author
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 344 350
No. of Characters: 1544 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.307 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.488 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.417 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.933 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.957 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.605 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5