A recent survey of 250 adults between the ages of 30 and 45 showed an association between the number of hours adults spend online each day and self-reporting of symptoms commonly associated with depression. The survey found that adults who spend 30 hours or more online each week were twice as likely as others to report that they "frequently" had trouble concentrating. Of adults who reported spending more than 30 hours per week online, 20% also reported that they had felt "sad, down, or blue" at least three times within the past month.
These results suggest that spending too much time online is linked with depression, and people who want to improve their well-being should strictly limit the time they spend online.
The idea of limiting the time people spend online, in order to improve their well-being, would be so novel, only if the relationship between two mentioned events, is really provable, yet, author's argument is rife with some lacuna and assumptions, and as the result, he was not able to offer a compelling idea.
The first assumption about his argument is that his research has been conducted only on 250 people, which cannot be a true representation of the whole people's group. What is more, he has done such survey, on the people, between 30 and 45, but the thing that should be more considered is that strictly limitation in using internet, and being online, would not work for a 20-year old student, who has to be online, for a long time, because all his education, researching and they way he learns, depend on being online, in the internet. So, again, such survey cannot be proven to be useful for all people. Another issue, which should be more painted on, is that he has not offered any thing about those people's health situation. There is a possibility, that they have been depressed or suffered from lack of concentration before the research.
Additionally, he has not mentioned, if they spend a large amount of their time, which sites, would be watched by them. It is true that some websites, like Facebook, would cause people depress, because a person would see his friend's uploaded best time's pictures, in which they are so happy, and as the result, by comparing such situation with his own lifestyle which is full of periodic problems, he would become sad or depress. But what about some sites, that he can see something useful, like the scientific sites, which show the ways to unraveling cruel hands of cancer? Of course the sites are so important, which the arguer has not mentioned anything about them.
Moreover, he has concluded just by some insignificant data, like 20 percent between 250 people, which is not really reliable, since statistically, such conclusion based on limited results, would not be true. Furthermore, their lack of concentration would have been rooted in some other stimuli, like being tired.
To wrap up, limiting the time people spend online, might be linked with their depression in order to decrease it, but the author has not offered a cogent, and well analyzed argument.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2019-07-25 | Pratik Kasle | 63 | view |
2018-09-27 | avinash2618 | 52 | view |
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK. Don't refer something new which is not in the statement.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 395 350
No. of Characters: 1857 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.458 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.701 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.498 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.385 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.288 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.644 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.2 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5