Several recent studies have shown a link between health and stair usage. One recently completed study shows that people who live in stairs-only apartment buildings (that is, buildings without elevators) live an average of three years longer than do people who live in buildings with both elevators and stairs. A second study shows that elderly residents of buildings with elevators make, on average, twice as many visits to doctors each year as do residents of buildngs without elevators. Furthermore, several doctor's offices are reporting that residents of stairs- only buildings scored higher than average on questionnaires administered to new patients, in which the patients were asked to rate several aspects of their own health (eg, fitness, sleep quality, susceptibility to injury, etc.).The clearest explanation for these findings is that the moderate daily exercise required of residents who must use the stairs instead of elevators increases people's health and longevity.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author of the passage concludes that using stairs instead of elevators keep people healthy and enhance the durability of their lives. It is based on the findings from several studies which include average life span, less visits to doctors' chambers and higher rates regarding the survey questionnaires about body fitness. However, before the recommendation of the author can be properly assessed, three specific evidences must be presented.
First of all, the findings obtained from the first mentioned study indicate that the length of life of a person is solely determined by the use of stairs or elevators. There maybe other important factors responsible for this outcomes. It is a strong possibility that people who use only stairs actually maintain a balanced health diet while the people who use elevators and stairs don't rigorously follow it. Perhaps, people using the elevators are rich people who eat junk foods or fast foods more often than the people who use stairs. If any of the above situation has merits, the argument does not hold water.
Secondly, it is prematurely assumed that more numbers of visits to doctors symbolize the worse health conditions of the old people who use elevators. But it is a strong possibility that, elder people who use elevators are more health concerned and they like to maintain a regular check up. It may be possible that elderly people who use stairs can't afford routine check up and that's why they don't travel to the hospitals more often. Therefore, corelating the frequent number of visits to sickness is seriously flawed unless specific explanations with evidence are provided. Without sound explanations, the conclusion that is made from the argument is seriously weakened.
Last but not the least, once again it is falsely assumed that the traits mentioned in the writing eg fitness, sleep quality, susceptibility to injury are co-related to the use of stairs. However, there may be more prominent reasons behind this finding than the use of stairs or elevators. It may be possible that people who use stairs don't have their own vehicles and they make their travel to work by foot or cycle which keep their body fit and ensure sound sleep. Perhaps a recent survey from traffic control unit indicates that frequent road accidents and deaths are occurred to the pedestrians who walk by foot or ride by bi-cycle. If any of the above mentioned points come to light, the argument of the passage will be seriously undermined.
To summarize, the argument as it stands now, can not be accepted because of its' reliance on too many unwarranted assumptions. If the author of the passage is able to provide detained explanations with sufficient evidences as required in the above writing, the recommendation of the argument can be properly evaluated.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 465 350
No. of Characters: 2294 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.644 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.933 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.637 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.781 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.532 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 221, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun visits is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...tudies which include average life span, less visits to doctors chambers and higher r...
^^^^
Line 3, column 221, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...other important factors responsible for this outcomes. It is a strong possibility th...
^^^^
Line 3, column 382, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...the people who use elevators and stairs dont rigorously follow it. Perhaps, people u...
^^^^
Line 5, column 345, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ible that elderly people who use stairs cant afford routine check up and thats why t...
^^^^
Line 5, column 378, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...stairs cant afford routine check up and thats why they dont travel to the hospitals m...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 393, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ord routine check up and thats why they dont travel to the hospitals more often. The...
^^^^
Line 7, column 336, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... be possible that people who use stairs dont have their own vehicles and they make t...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2345.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 462.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07575757576 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69367489639 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497835497835 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 744.3 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.8977366975 57.8364921388 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.25 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.15 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.218255998934 0.218282227539 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0638452198951 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0672352636384 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.118170991099 0.128457276422 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0765908488685 0.0628817314937 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.