"The tufted groundhog lives in the coastal wetlands of West Lansburg. Ancient records suggest that the tufted groundhog once numbered in the millions. Since they were declared a wildlife sanctuary in 2004, development along the coastal wetlands has been prohibited. Now local development interests are lobbying for the West Lansburg council to allow an access road to be built along the edge of wetlands. Neighboring Eastern Carpenteria, which had a similar sanctuary, has seen its sea otter population decline since the repeal of its sanctuary status in 1978. In order to preserve the region's biodiversity and ensure a healthy environment, the West Lansburg council should not allow the road to be built."
While, it is true to say that building roads and and other infrastuctures, in the sanctuary could bring down the trees and could increrase human activities around the forest, which could be very bad for the sanctuary's future and which could lead into many destruction of those sanctuaries, but its not fully correct to say that building the roads could destroy the sanctuary status, and could bring down the population of protected spicies. The informations are rife with holes and assumptions that cannot be credible, and has lots of loop holes.
One of the arguement defencies is a claim that, when the neigbouring eastern carpenteria, repeal its sanctuary status, sea otters population decline, but they have never consider the fact that it was all because of the new disease found in sea otters, and that pandemic broke down the population of the sanctuary, and that was not due to human activities. In, that neigbouring wetland the road and other developmental activities were done three decades ago and, despite of so much development work sea otters population soared, during those time. The author has not consider those studies and came to conclusion, after seeing only one study.
More information is needed about the fact that, how can building a road on the edges of santuary could thwarte the protection of santuary. Since, there are schools and hospitals built which could be easily accessible, if those roads are built. Since, now they have to either travel through foot to cross those wetlands, or take a different 3 hours route. The author also provides no specific evidence, that, how can development activities near wetlands could halt the process of preservance of sanctuary. The author is also not clear about the fact, that building roads is not repealing the sanctuary status of that place.
So, at last the author provides no evidence about the fact that anything has to do with the development activities, such as building roads on the edges of wetlands, for the sea otters population to decline in 1978. So, the fact presented needs to be evaluated quickly, and the author must be present with the valid points about, its safe to built roads on those edges of those wetlands.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appears-…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1789 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.848 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.552 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.316 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.381 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.598 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 46, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: and
..., it is true to say that building roads and and other infrastuctures, in the sanctuary ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 252, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun destruction seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much destruction', 'a good deal of destruction'.
Suggestion: much destruction; a good deal of destruction
...tuarys future and which could lead into many destruction of those sanctuaries, but its not fully...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 124, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'otters'' or 'otter's'?
Suggestion: otters'; otter's
...teria, repeal its sanctuary status, sea otters population decline, but they have never...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'considered'.
Suggestion: considered
...population decline, but they have never consider the fact that it was all because of the...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 503, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'otters'' or 'otter's'?
Suggestion: otters'; otter's
...despite of so much development work sea otters population soared, during those time. T...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 567, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'considered'.
Suggestion: considered
..., during those time. The author has not consider those studies and came to conclusion, a...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng the sanctuary status of that place. So, at last the author provides no evide...
^^^
Line 7, column 178, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'otters'' or 'otter's'?
Suggestion: otters'; otter's
...s on the edges of wetlands, for the sea otters population to decline in 1978. So, the ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, while, as to, such as, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1844.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 369.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9972899729 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63620315163 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.512195121951 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 551.7 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.67365269461 478% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 104.04015651 57.8364921388 180% => OK
Chars per sentence: 153.666666667 119.503703932 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.75 23.324526521 132% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.33333333333 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0515605293085 0.218282227539 24% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0211713148514 0.0743258471296 28% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0237711529384 0.0701772020484 34% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0332485725113 0.128457276422 26% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0170758636203 0.0628817314937 27% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.5 14.3799401198 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.9071856287 151% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.