"Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other island cultures."
In the article the author concludes that Dr. field’s observation is not valid about the culture of Tertian village. The interview-centered method, using by his team of graduate students, is better than the observation-centered approach. While it might be true that the author and his team will able to establish a better understanding of the child-rearing method and the culture of the islands, before we can fully assess the validity of the argument, the author needs to provide three pieces of additional evidence.
First of all, one assumption is that the tradition of child-rearing in Tertia has changed. So, the observation of Dr. Field, that the whole village rear a child in the Tertia village, might not be invalid. The people of Tertia may be become family oriented now-a-days than they were twenty years before. The structure of the village possibly has been changed because of the individual conflicts between them. If either scenario above is true, then the author’s conclusion is significantly inaccurate.
Another possibility that would hinder the persuasiveness of the argument is that the interviewing method is not random. The team of graduate students may be interviewing a specific group of children of a specific part of the island where the children is reared only by their family. The students might be performing the method of the interview-centered method accurately. They are possibly just extrapolating the information of a small portion of the children group. If it is true that the interview-centered method was not well established, and this method was performed in a careless way, then the author’s conclusion does not hold water.
Finally, an explanation that would decrease the credibility of the argument is that the village adults has made aware the children of their biological parents. To ensure the responsibility of the children to take care of their parents at the very old age, the adults of the village might aware more about their biological parents. The children of the Tertia village might become more aware of their identity than they were twenty years ago. If that proves to be the case, then the author’s driving argument is not overly compelling.
In conclusion, the author may be correct in claiming that interview-centered method is better than observing-centered method. However, as it stands now, the claim rests on three unwarranted assumptions that dramatically hinder its validity. If the author hopes to bolster its persuasiveness, he should provide the evidence regarding the children rearing tradition as well as the reliability of the interview-centered method.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 574, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careless way" with adverb for "careless"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ablished, and this method was performed in a careless way, then the author’s conclusion does not ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 643, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uthor’s conclusion does not hold water. Finally, an explanation that would decre...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, may, regarding, so, then, well, while, in conclusion, as well as, first of all, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2225.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 418.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32296650718 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.31815767042 2.78398813304 119% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464114832536 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 684.9 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.2933494014 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.25 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24961133242 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0810969258773 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0737368728497 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14080823883 0.128457276422 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0660459657836 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 574, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careless way" with adverb for "careless"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ablished, and this method was performed in a careless way, then the author’s conclusion does not ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 643, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uthor’s conclusion does not hold water. Finally, an explanation that would decre...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, may, regarding, so, then, well, while, in conclusion, as well as, first of all, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2225.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 418.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32296650718 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.31815767042 2.78398813304 119% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464114832536 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 684.9 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.2933494014 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.25 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24961133242 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0810969258773 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0737368728497 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14080823883 0.128457276422 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0660459657836 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.