41. A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of accidents caused by bicycling has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus there is clearly a call for the government to strive to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents by launching an education program that concentrates on the factors other than helmet use that are necessary for bicycle safety."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In this newsletter, due to a nationwide study, the author claims that to decrease the traffic accidents, government should pay more attention on educating people about bicycle safety than encouraging them to wear helmets. Supported by statistics, at the first glance, the recommendation sounds plausible. However, unwarranted evidence and flawed assumptions made by the author weaken the argument's reliability and feasibility.
First, a ten-year nationwide study suggests that there is an increase of 45 percent of bicyclists who wear helmet while there is an increase of 200 percent of accidents related bicyclists. The author deems that there is a relation between those two increases. However, the author fails to consider the possibility that during ten years the population may have increased either. If true, the increase of accidents may be still limited in a normal level or even may decrease somewhat, because with the higher population, there are likely more bicyclists than before, so are cars and the roads will become more crowed. For that matter, accidents tend to happen more often but which may be not led by the increase of bicyclists who wear helmets.
Second, the author unfairly assumes that those accidents are caused by bicyclists who think wearing a helmet will be safer then care less and risk more. However, other factors which may cause the accidents are ignored by the author, even though bicyclists may get involved. For example, after such a long time, is there any chance that certain sections of roads have had problems, but government did not take actions on time. Roads like these, the rate of accidents is usually high. Or, it maybe the car drivers' responsibilities to cause the accidents for they possess poor driving skills and are inept to handle emergencies. In those two probable conditions, the bicyclists can hardly be blamed and even may become victims.
Finally, even though the assumptions in the newsletter are acceptable, however, the advice made by the author that people needn't to wear a helmet when they are riding is of potential risk. Based on the common sense, although helmets can not fully protect people from serious car crash, they do play a irreplaceable role in daily protection. People, especially the kids who prefer to expose themselves into fresh by dangerous ideas, those helmet can be useful.
To sum up, after examining all the assumptions involved in the recommendation, intend to prove the disability of helmets and convince the government to offer bike-safety lecture rather than encourage people to wear helmets, the author fails to employ strong evidence to substantiate the conclusion. To relieve the traffic problems, the author would have make a more well rounded research. Imprudent recommendation maybe misleading and cause severe problem in a long run.
It costs me nearly three hours. I am so frustrated, and I can recognize nearly every logic flaws but can not put those ideas into formal essay.
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Comments
Well, take it easy! Your
Well, take it easy! Your essay is good enough. Just do your best!
You need to practise writing the essay in half an hour from now on.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 456 350
No. of Characters: 2318 1500
No. of Different Words: 240 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.621 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.083 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.721 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 177 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.734 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5