The following appeared in a memorandum from the manager of WWAC radio station.
"To reverse a decline in listener numbers, our owners have decided that WWAC must change from its current rock-music format. The decline has occurred despite population growth in our listening area, but that growth has resulted mainly from people moving here after their retirement. We must make listeners of these new residents. We could switch to a music format tailored to their tastes, but a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music suggests limited interest in music. Instead we should change to a news and talk format, a form of radio that is increasingly popular in our area."
While changing radio format from a rock-music to a news and talk may indeed lead to an increased number of WWAC radio listeners, this authors argument fails to make a cogent case for validating this recommendation. The argument suffers from a lack of quantification, does not provide any information on the actual preferences of the older population, and makes unwarranted claims of causality.
The argument states that WWAC radio station is suffering a decline in listener numbers despite population growth; however, the author fails to provide any numbers. The memorandum doesn’t say whether ...
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Sentence: While changing radio format from a rock-music to a news and talk may indeed lead to an increased number of WWAC radio listeners, this authors argument fails to make a cogent case for validating this recommendation.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and authors
flaws:
No. of Words: 619 350 (less words in real exams. write the essay in half an hour)
It is on top list:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/gmatgre
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 6
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 619 350
No. of Characters: 3112 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.988 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.027 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.604 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 242 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 180 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 123 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.808 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.79 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.198 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5