The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, we predict that our new jazz music club in Monroe will be a tremendously profitable enterprise."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
Though it is possible that establishing a jazz club in the city of Monroe might turn to be a highly profitable enterprise, the argument put forward by the group of business enthusiasts is rife with holes and assumptions. Thus, the application may fail to impress the lending agency.
To give an estimate of the enthusiasm for jazz music among the residents of Monroe, the application states that over 10000 people attended the city’s annual jazz festival the previous year. A question worth asking would be how many among the 10000 visitors belonged to Monroe. Being an annual jazz festival the ...
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2012-06-14 | nivi1991 | 88 | view |
| 2012-05-09 | aloha871111 | 87 | view |
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Comments
Should the ideal values
Should the ideal values mentioned above be strictly followed to score a 6?
Not really! for example, we
Not really! for example, we recommend to have five paragraphs which are ideal, but if you have 7 paragraphs, it is ok too. These values will mainly check out which are your weak points. like in this essay, we put the flaws as:
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.435 21.0
means you may need to pay attention to Avg. Sentence Length like you can write more compound sentences.
When you read other essays, you will see even though there are some flaws for some essays, still they can get score 6.
Very good
I really liked your essay.
One suggestion would be to develop a little more your conclusion in last paragraph, maybe by summarizing your main points.
Hi Guds, Thanks for the
Hi Guds,
Thanks for the suggestion. I ran out of time towards the end.
It is good to limit the time
It is good to limit the time in half an hour.
mind blowing, amazing, death
mind blowing, amazing, death defying, terror striking
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.435 21.0
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 447 350
No. of Characters: 2080 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.598 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.653 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.452 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.435 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.643 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.549 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5