"In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend—the city-run public schools—comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools—even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument that the Parson City residents place a higher value on providing good education in public schools than the Blue City residents based on the significantly higher education budget of Parson City, may seem to be logical at the first glance. The author makes a valid argument, one that could be correct if its premises were true. However, his conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is no supporting evidence and uses terms that lack definition.
First, the author has assumed that Blue City public schools' education facilities are inferior to that Parson City because the former spends half the money on education than spent by Parson City. Here, the author has not provided any evidence to support his assumption. In reality, Parson City's public schools may be lavishly spending the extra budget every year while the amount spent by Parson City maybe the actual amount required to adequately maintain and enhance the school facilities every year. The schools of Parson City maybe going for annual renewal of lab equipments, other teaching requirements, sports fields etc while Blue City public schools maybe doing only essential renewal per year. If the author had given some evidence to show that there is a vast gap between facilities provided by public schools of Parson City and those of Blue City, it would strengthen his argument.
The author has assumed that money is the only criterion that determines the quality of education of public schools of a city. Consequently, a city spending more on its public schools places a higher concern on eduction in the schools. However, there are other administrative factors as well which determine the quality of education in a city's public schools. For example, the education council of Blue City may be actually playing a more active role in the administration of the city's public schools. As a result they may be more aware of the problems faced by the schools and may be spending an adequate amount to overcome them. While, the Parson City council may just be allocating high funds and may not be scrutinising their actual utilisation. If the author had given some evidence to show that the students of Blue City public schools are in any way inferior to those of Parson City, or the residents of Blue City, the students' guardians or schools teachers ever complained of the schools's facilities, it would have strengthened his position.
Summing up, the author may not be necessariliy wrong in his view, that the Parson City residents are more concerned about the quality of the city's public schools than Blue City residents, as the former's education budget is almost twice the latter. But to support the current conclusion, he needs to submit more conclusive evidence proving that educational facilities and quality of Parson City is indeed better than those of Blue City.
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Sentence: While, the Parson City council may just be allocating high funds and may not be scrutinising their actual utilisation.
Error: utilisation Suggestion: utilization
Error: scrutinising Suggestion: scrutinizing
Sentence: Summing up, the author may not be necessariliy wrong in his view, that the Parson City residents are more concerned about the quality of the city's public schools than Blue City residents, as the former's education budget is almost twice the latter.
Error: necessariliy Suggestion: necessarily
flaws:
Put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 473 350
No. of Characters: 2337 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.664 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.941 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.541 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 181 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.824 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.489 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.882 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.44 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.18 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5