Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
The recommendation given firmly asserts Pirouttes Ballet school as the clear choice for any child in Elmtown. This is based on the statement provided that the school offers the most intensive program, and all the teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies. Also they school claims that many of its students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies. However, given the lack of evidence one might find this statement hard to believe.
The selection of a dance school cannot be simply based on the fact that the teachers have danced in various prestigious dance companies around the world. The teacher might be a ballet prodigy, but what matters here is how she instructs her students so that they might turn out to be successful ballet dancers. Imparting knowledge to students is a totally different art. Even the great cricketer Sachin Tendulkar might turn out to be a poor teacher, although he might have attained milestones in his career, this does not ensure that he would succeed as a coach.
Also the school has not provided any information on the pricing structure. Price is a important factor that parents consider before sending their students to a particular school. Many families might not have the money to send their students to such expensive ballet schools. The program structure has also not been specified. The term 'intensive' should be defined effectively, only then can parents decide whether to send their students to the ballet school.
The school states that many of its students have gone out to become successful professional dancers. But here no statistical data has been provide. A proper percentage of number of successful students and number of enrolled students should be provided to lure children into their program.
The school also does not explicitly mention the benefits over other dance schools in the town. The contention that the school makes, that it is the best in Elmtown has no strong facts to back it.
Thus unless provided with proper evidence and proper statistical data, parents should not take a risk on venturing into the unknown and should not send their children to Pirouettes Ballet School.
- Mass media and the internet have caused people s attention spans to get shorter However the overall effect has been positive while people are less able to focus on one thing they more than make up for it with an enhanced ability to sort through large quan 53
- In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town we should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area The Hillview landfill which has been undevelopped for decades is a perfect site for this plant the buil 75
- Some people believe that teaching morality should be the foundation of education. Others believe that teaching a foundation of logical reasoning would do more to produce a moral society. 80
- An ailing patient should have easy access to his or her doctor's record of treating similarly afflicted patients.Through gaining such access,the ailing patient may better determine whether the doctor is competent to treat that medical condition. 70
- Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have 80
Sentence: Also they school claims that many of its students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and school
flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1792 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.964 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.51 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.377 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.579 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5