Please evaluate my issue essay for GRE exam
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Nowadays technology had a great effect on our lives, some of them are positive will others are negative. Although some assume the negative effects of technology, I do not agree that as people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate for several reasons. It has made our life easier in many ways, in daily life, at work and even helped in the process for finding a cure for many diseases.
First, technology has helped to facilitate the manufacturing and development of many products. Scientists used technology to modify all means of transportation, without technology we would not have found it easy to travel from Africa to Australia or from Europe to America by airplanes. In addition to trains, cars and buses that have been more comfortable by technological advancement.
Second, in the past ago there were a lot of incurable diseases, with the advancement in technology to solve these problems, new devices have been invented to recognize viruses and diseases and helped in the process of research and development of new medicine.
Third, relying on technology helped us solving a lot of problems related to the forecasting of weather and natural phenomena like volcanoes, hurricanes and tornadoes. For example the United States of America was expecting Sandy hurricane that hit the East coast in November 2012. Technological advances helped them to specify the exact place and time which in return helped to take the necessary actions to prevent the damages as much as they can.
On the other hand, the opposite opinion regarding the excessive use of technology and relying heavily on technological devices to solve problems made the ability of human beings to deteriorate. For instance cashiers, bank tellers they all rely mostly on the computer for their calculations. They do not trust themselves as they trust the calculators. Therefore this has led to stop relying on their brains even for simple calculations in their daily life.
To sum up, although relying totally on technology has resulted in diminishing the ability of human beings to think, we cannot deny the great effects that technology has given us and helped the human to solve problems and prevent disasters. Therefore I totally disagree that as people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
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Sentence: Nowadays technology had a great effect on our lives, some of them are positive will others are negative.
Description: The word will is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to will
flaws:
Not enough arguments on essay body. Look this paragraph:
Second, in the past ago there were a lot of incurable diseases, with the advancement in technology to solve these problems, new devices have been invented to recognize viruses and diseases and helped in the process of research and development of new medicine.
It has only one sentence.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 398 350
No. of Characters: 1995 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.467 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.013 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.777 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.701 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.617 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.12 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5