A recently issued five-year study on the common cold investigated the possible therapeutic effect of a raw food diet. Raw foods contain antioxidants that boost the immune system. While many foods are naturally rich in antioxidants, food-processing compan

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A recently issued five-year study on the common cold investigated the possible therapeutic effect of a raw food diet. Raw foods contain antioxidants that boost the immune system. While many foods are naturally rich in antioxidants, food-processing companies also sell isolated antioxidants. The five-year study found a strong correlation between a raw food diet and a steep decline in the average number of colds reported by study participants. A control group that increased their antioxidant intake using supplements did not have a decrease in the number of colds. Based on these study results, some health experts recommend a raw food diet over the use of packaged antioxidants.

ARGUMENT ESSAY

As winter approach, people tend to get more sick and transmit disease easily to co-worker, family members and friends. This report seems like a great solution to reverse this increase in “cold” tendency. However the arguments lay in this report seems easy to believe at first glance, the author’s arguments lack of develop analysis and examples to make them more revelant to educated people.

First, the study which the report relay on to make its claim,lack of back-up information relating to the study for its audience. One might asks himself/herself the following: how many individuals were involved? A hundred? A thousands? Were they infants, teens or adults? Male or female? What about the physiology and medical history? Did this study took place in one particular area? Spread around a country? Was it diversified with people from city and farmland? Summarizing all those details critical to the study would definitely strenghten the discovery of the benefits of a “raw food diet”.

Second, as in the first paragraph a lot of information are missing, this time regarding the “raw food” used in the study. The report leaves one without much details about how to start eating habit change. By “Raw food”, one might understand to eat raw meat? That’s definitely not an option as eating raw chicken for example would send one to the hospital within the next hour due to food intoxication. Therefore this report can actually be of danger for one who is credulous.

Finaly, this report lack of details to make the argument that such a diet is working, leads one to ask: is the purpose of this report to have a negative impact on those food-processing companies? As the way this report is lay out by the author, one could literaly write the same report by interchanging “raw food diet” by the “isolated antioxidants”.

To conclude, written a summary of a study in such a way can have negative effect for the audience or the author. It is plausible that this study actually lead to discover that a “raw food diet” will diminishe the risk of getting a cold. However as we have seen throughout this essay, the reports lacks of supporting evidence and can even lead us to believe that the only purpose of the article whose to do bad advertising for the food processing companies.

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Sentence: However the arguments lay in this report seems easy to believe at first glance, the author's arguments lack of develop analysis and examples to make them more revelant to educated people.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to of and develop

Sentence: One might asks himself/herself the following: how many individuals were involved?
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to might and asks

Sentence: As the way this report is lay out by the author, one could literaly write the same report by interchanging raw food diet by the isolated antioxidants.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and lay

Sentence: Summarizing all those details critical to the study would definitely strenghten the discovery of the benefits of a raw food diet.
Error: strenghten Suggestion: strengthen

Sentence: As the way this report is lay out by the author, one could literaly write the same report by interchanging raw food diet by the isolated antioxidants.
Error: literaly Suggestion: literal

Sentence: It is plausible that this study actually lead to discover that a raw food diet will diminishe the risk of getting a cold.
Error: diminishe Suggestion: diminish

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 391 350
No. of Characters: 1828 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.447 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.675 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.519 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.292 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.261 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.292 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.253 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.451 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5