Sports stars and movie stars have an obligation to behave as role models for the young people who look up to them.in return for the millions of dollars that they are paid we should expect them to fulfill this societal responsibility.

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Sports stars and movie stars have an obligation to behave as role models for the young people who look up to them.in return for the millions of dollars that they are paid we should expect them to fulfill this societal responsibility.

The author asserts that the celebrities that the young generation look up to must inspire their fans by presenting themselves decently. I subscribe to this view as the younger generations are the future of tomorrow and what affects them today mold their minds and plays a major role in defining themselves and their future.

Millions of fans look at the movie stars or sports stars in awe when they would be performing in a concert or playing a game. What these celebrities do acts as an inspiration to all of them.They follow what these people do meticulously and hence the lives of these celebrities is constantly under scrutiny. The actions they perform play a major role in what their fans learn about them and hence affect the what these fans want to do or wish to become. Hence celebrities must be careful in projecting themselves as role models , they must be aware of the outlook of their personality and behave appropriately as they exert control over the lives of their fans to a large extent.

Now let us consider two situations how these starts could affect the young generation.A lot of celebrities today who have done various social contributions which helps increase awareness about the social evils , medical health care or economical problems that still persist. This would inspire their fans to become better people and instigate them to make contributions to the society. They would not only be aware of these social or economical problems but could also actively participate in improving the society . This would make them better people as they would want be like their role models who they admire and would strive to make contributions as well. On the other hand there are movie stars or sports stars who have been arrested for taking drugs, drinking and driving. When fans watch the news of such events , they would believe that these habits could in fact be good and they should do such activities as their role models are doing them . This has a negative impact on their lives which could in fact ruin the lives of their generation and the generations that are yet to come.

Nevertheless, it does not imply all sports starts are obligated to take up societal responsibility. It is their personal choice to what they want to . Yet , they must not do activities that would have a negative impact on the young minds who look up to them.This is a moral obligation they must abide by and respect and not ignore.

In conclusion , movie stars and sports celebrities must be commendable not only in their fields but also in inspiring millions of their fans in doing social deeds that can benefit the society today and the future as they play an important role in their lives.

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Sentence: The author asserts that the celebrities that the young generation look up to must inspire their fans by presenting themselves decently.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to to and must

hence the lives of these celebrities is constantly under scrutiny.
Suggestion: hence the lives of these celebrities are constantly under scrutiny.

A lot of celebrities today who have done various social contributions which helps increase awareness about the social evils
Suggestion: A lot of celebrities today who have done various social contributions which help increase awareness about the social evils

Sentence: The actions they perform play a major role in what their fans learn about them and hence affect the what these fans want to do or wish to become.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a WH-determiner
Suggestion: Refer to the and what

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Don't put a space before punctuation marks.
Always put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 467 350
No. of Characters: 2189 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.649 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.687 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.497 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.471 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.179 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5