"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
In this memo, the owner of the Green Thumb Gardening Center assumes that they can raise their profits by providing a wider variety of seeds they stock for gardeners. The assumptions of the owner seems to be convincing, as consumers are more interested in growing their own vegetables. In addition, even he has provided the evidence of sales of the gardening magazine which has been redoubled. In careful analysis of the argument, there are many unsubstantiated assumptions provided and hence left unpersuaded.
Firstly, the evidence provided by the arguer is a national survey where the consumers ...
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2013-08-15 | Madhuri Dharmala | 90 | view |
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Comments
Thank you soo much..I will
Thank you soo much..I will retify my mistakes.
Sentence: Firstly, the evidence provided by the arguer is a national survey where the consumers are more interested in growing their own vegetables which is a bit convincing but it will be more lucid if he had provided statistics related to the survey which will be helpful while considering these type of decisions.
Description: The fragment own vegetables which is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace is with are
Sentence: With this evidences if the owner of the Green Thumb Gardening Center invests in expanding their seeds, it would be a great loss.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and evidences
provided some more better evidences to strengthen
Suggestion: provided some better evidences to strengthen
It is on top list:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/gmatgre
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 550 350
No. of Characters: 2676 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.843 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.865 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.745 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 141 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 114 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 80 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.95 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.566 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5