Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
The author believes that Adams realty is more superior than Fitch's based on the number of properties that they have. However, this claim is unfounded because the author does not support the argument with more logical reasons.
First of all, he states that Adam's real estate firm is better because he has a number of agents more than Fitch's. This statement cannot be justified since we do not know that Fitch's real estate agents has the same quality with those in Adams real estate. It is possible if Fitch's agents more qualified than Adams. even though Adam real estate has 40 agents, it can not be compared with Fitch's agents that only 25 since they have better quality than those in Adams estate.
Furthermore, Adam's revenue in home sales is twice as high as that of Fitch. It can not be assumed that Adam real estate is better than Fitch's since we do not know the size of house that Adam sales. There is a possibility that Adam sales bigger houses compared with the houses that Fitch sales. That possibility is likely make Adam's revenue higher than Fitch's.
Finally, the author mentioned that the speed of Adam's sell is faster than Fitch sell based on his experience ten years ago. This argument is highly unlikely to be justified if we talk about the situation today. The circumstances in ten years ago can change significantly compared with the situation today. To provide more acceptable proof, the author should give the recent example to both realties.
To sum up, to compare one is better than others, we must look them at the same point of view and standardization.
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flaws:
No. of Words: 276 350
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Words: 276 350
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No. of Different Words: 131 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.076 4.7
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 10.192 7.5
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.385 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.68 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.206 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5