To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
Understanding the important features of a society is a very controvertial and demanding feild of study, but to say this can be acheived by studying the major Cities under it might not neccessarily be true. The study will involve an analysis of various aspects such as economical, curtural, religious beleifs, cusines etc.the people within adhere to, which contribute all together in developing a society. It involves a study of the various laws, mutual understanding and the tolerance people share amongst each other to make living more peaceful and bearable. Thus a conclusive demographic figure needs to be present for this undertaking. There are one too many reasons why I refute the assumption in the issue statement,of which the most prominent are, firstly Major cities are more involved in growing and assessing the country’s economy and are thus more susceptible to foreign influence.And secondly it is not necessary that a major chunk of the population resides in the city. Thus it is wrong to say that by only understanding the cities, one would entirely understand the entire nation.
Major Cities were once towns where economic development opened up better financial and carrer oportunities which inevitably raised the standard of living of people within. The same invited an influx of people into the region, thus creating a high density region in which people are a part of the rat race to get ahead of one another. This creates an environment in which people are bound to neglect their cutural traditions and attire, their eating habits and the need to perform daily household chores. Thus creating a society that indulges in dressing up formally, seldomly celebrating annual festivals and switching to a fast food culture. Whereas the same cannot be said about the life in remote areas and villages, People living here are more inclined towards dressing up in a traditional attire. All festivals major or minor are celebrated with the same enthusiasm. And dilligent care is taken about eating habits which comprise of a healthy traditional meal.
Also it is quite possible that the majority of the population comprising the society may not even reside in Major cities.Take India or China for example, More than two-thirds of its total population resides in rural areas. Thus rendering a study done on their major cities inconclusive demographically.
There may be points made wherein it would be stated that, Mojor cities hubs people from all around the nation thus giving a variety of People with different cultural and traditional backgrounds in one place. This although true but is easily refutable since cities are built on modernization. Thesw cities attract more attention to a particular country towards a western culture. Life is a rat-race, the only choice is to keep up or get beat down. Allocating time to follow traditional values is hard and almost impossible if one needs to live a good, appreciable lifestyle.
To sum up, Cities while they can characterize certain aspects of society, they cannot characterize society as a whole. They represent a very few, considering the demography of the entire nation, their standard of living and ideas, thoughts and aspiration are very different than the people from rural areas and to characterize them all under one roof, by just studying a few would be vastly wrong.
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- Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated. 75
- Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.OR Some people believe that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. Others believe that formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather 70
- To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities. 85
Sentence: There may be points made wherein it would be stated that, Mojor cities hubs people from all around the nation thus giving a variety of People with different cultural and traditional backgrounds in one place.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to cities and hubs
Sentence: Understanding the important features of a society is a very controvertial and demanding feild of study, but to say this can be acheived by studying the major Cities under it might not neccessarily be true.
Error: feild Suggestion: field
Error: controvertial Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: neccessarily Suggestion: necessarily
Error: acheived Suggestion: achieved
Sentence: The study will involve an analysis of various aspects such as economical, curtural, religious beleifs, cusines etc.the people within adhere to, which contribute all together in developing a society.
Error: curtural Suggestion: cultural
Error: cusines Suggestion: business
Error: beleifs Suggestion: beliefs
Sentence: Major Cities were once towns where economic development opened up better financial and carrer oportunities which inevitably raised the standard of living of people within.
Error: oportunities Suggestion: opportunities
Error: carrer Suggestion: career
Sentence: This creates an environment in which people are bound to neglect their cutural traditions and attire, their eating habits and the need to perform daily household chores.
Error: cutural Suggestion: cultural
Sentence: Thus creating a society that indulges in dressing up formally, seldomly celebrating annual festivals and switching to a fast food culture.
Error: seldomly Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: And dilligent care is taken about eating habits which comprise of a healthy traditional meal.
Error: dilligent Suggestion: diligent
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
No. of Words: 548 350 (less words in real exams. write the essay in half an hour)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 548 350
No. of Characters: 2743 1500
No. of Different Words: 286 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.838 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.005 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.749 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 207 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.143 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.285 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5