Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archa

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Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

The author of the argument refutes the notion that the so-called “Palean baskets” were only made by the Palean people by providing two evidence 1) the distinctive pattern woven baskets were found not only in prehistoric Palean but also in ancient village Lithos which is situated across the Brim River from Palean 2) the Brim River since being very deep and broad can only be crossed by boat which were not found at the site of discovery of woven baskets in Lithos. Although the two evidences appear to bolster the argument, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. The author needs the following evidence to make the argument more sounding: 1) A picture that compares pattern of the two baskets namely Palean and Lithos 2) no other routes were possible to get to Lithos from Palean besides the Brim 3) geological and climatic conditions of that place 4) census data that indicates origin of the people of Lithos.

Firstly, the author needs to demonstrate a picture that compares the similarity between the baskets found in Palea and Lithos. This evidence would bolster or enervate the argument depending on what exactly the picture suggests. If, base on the picture, the patterns of both the woven baskets are similar then it will strengthen the argument. If opposite is found, then it will weaken the argument.

Secondly, the author assumes that the Brim River is the only route from Palea to Lithos. However, he needs to clarify this claim. This evidence, again, can go either direction. If crossing the Brim River is the only route then it will strengthen the argument. However, if there are other plausible routes then it will weaken the argument. In addition, the author cannot conclude that ancient Paleans didn’t crossed the Brim River because of lack boat on the evidence that boat(not boats) were not found in Lithos during discovery of baskets by archeologists. Because, Palean people, after crossing the river, could have utilized lumber from boats. It might have been true that Palean people use the boats made of light wood and that boats are now deteriorated and taking into account we have no superior technology to detect deteriorated materials, such evidence will weaken the argument.

Thirdly, while considering prehistoric Palea as ancient, the author has to keep in mind that how our continents and lands are formed today has not always been this way. Tectonic plates drifted, last couple of ice ages has caused ocean water to rise and shrink. Land that existed tens and thousands of years ago have either changed or does not exists anymore. Given that ice age has proven to cause land erosion, the river water level may not have been very deep and river itself may not have been very broad. Thus, if the water level was low enough, the Palean people could have waded across the river to Lithos to conduct their business with them. In this case Paleans could have exchange their “unique” baskets for Lithosian goods. The author also assumes that the baskets can only be transported by humans and fails to consider other possibilities such as transportation by river flood or by natural disaster. It might have possible that due lowering in temperature, frozen river can became a passage for Palean people to get across to Lithos. Such specific evidence about geological and climatic changes in that place will certainly weaken or strengthen the argument.

Last but not least, if there are alternative routes for Palean people to get to Lithos, the now must provide census data about the origin of Lithos people. Census then could be used to show that no Palean people ever settled to or visited Lithos. Depending on the data from census, the author’s argument will be bolstered and enervated.

To sum up, the author fails to substantiate its claim that the so-called unique Palean baskets were not unique, because he has not given sufficient evidence to support the argument. The author needs to provide specific evidence such as illustration of pattern of both the Palean and Lithosian woven baskets, routes to Lithos from Palea, detail archeologists’ report, geological and climatic conditions of that place in ancient times and census data about origin of Lithos people. Without these specific evidence author cannot conclude that Palean Baskets are unique.

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Average: 8.5 (2 votes)
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Sentence: It might have possible that due lowering in temperature, frozen river can became a passage for Palean people to get across to Lithos.
Description: The fragment have possible that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace possible with adverb

Sentence: Last but not least, if there are alternative routes for Palean people to get to Lithos, the now must provide census data about the origin of Lithos people.
Description: The fragment the now must is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace now with adjective

flaws:
No. of Words: 715 350 (Write the essay in half an hour. The first paragraph can be shorter. Three flaws are enough)

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 715 350
No. of Characters: 3490 1500
No. of Different Words: 279 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.171 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.881 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.352 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 265 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 166 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.906 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.492 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5

I wander why this essay deserves a score of 6. The necessary evidence pointed out in the second paragraph doesn't make sense, because it has been declared in the topic that the baskets found in Lithos were "characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only ...", which means the patterns of baskets found in both Palean and Lithos are already the same. Besides, both the third and the fourth paragraph contain more than one topic, which disturb the organization. Would you like to solve my question? Thank you.