Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
It is said that young people are the future of a nation, and they will define the shape of a country in the coming generation. Taking this into account, I believe, youth should be encouraged to pursue long term and realistic goals, but at the same time they should not forget about the present they are living in.
Young people, especially teenagers are a capricious and whimsical lot. They need proper guidance and counselling to grow in life. Instilling in them, a thought to focus on long term goals will help them in maturing, and contributing to the society they live in. Youngsters who know their goals will take positive steps to achieve it, rather than wandering about in search of recognition. This will make them more disciplined, punctual and mature. Such youngsters will achieve their targeted goals (say becoming scientists, engineers, researchers) and these human resources in future will be of great help in the overall growth of the society/country. On the other hand, focusing only on fame and recognition may make them wayward, without a proper direction. In the attempt to seek immediate fame, young people may even take wrong and immoral steps, thereby harming the society and in the future even themselves.
However, it should noted that, blinders (used to make horses see in a single direction), should not be imposed on youth, such that they focus only on long term goals and forget the means by which they are planning to achieve it. For example, a teenager whose goal is to become rich in future may do so, by a series of robberies, thereby achieving his goal. But this kind of mentality should not be fostered. Rather, youth should be taught proper means to achieve their goals. Another problem which may arise due to singular focus on long term goals is lack of interest in present and living in future. This may harm the young people psychologically.
So, in view of these points, I believe, young people should be encouraged to pursue long term goals, but achieving such goals should be made a continuous process, such that they continue to do well in the present, live in the present, while at the same time, get closer to the goal step by step, achieving a part of it every day, which accumulates slowly to get them to their ultimate goal.
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Comments
" proper means to achieve
" proper means to achieve their goals " how is this relevant to topic of fame/recognition or longterm goal or realistic aspect of it?
Sentence: However, it should noted that, blinders used to make horses see in a single direction, should not be imposed on youth, such that they focus only on long term goals and forget the means by which they are planning to achieve it.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to should and noted
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 1820 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.619 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.402 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.176 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.538 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.482 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5