“In any field of endeavor, it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being strongly influenced by past achievements within that field.”
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Making a contribution in any kind of field, obviously requires some level of knowledge and proficiency in that area. Without knowing the current situation and the previous attempts to make contributions in that field, it would be hard to come up with something new. If a person have achieved something previously in a specific area or he knows that somebody have, it would of course be easier and may be more efficient for him to achieve something even better. But still, an influence of a previous achievement is not the only thing that is needed to succeed in a new contribution.
Previous achievements lead people to do more, by giving them more confidence.To start with an example, let us think of a phd student in economics. If he is doing a phd in economics, this means that he must have been a good student during his earlier studies as well, so that he decided to learn and study more. During his path, he must probably have heard about previous achievements in that area and got influenced by them. As another example, if somebody chooses to study medicine and carries on with his studies,then he would be more probable to cure cancer when compared to let’s say a famous ballet dancer who is also brilliant in a completely different manner but who is not influenced by medical achievements the way that the other person did. So the thing is, these are all about what influences people the most.
The two things which are at least as important as the influence of earlier achievements are the willingness and passion of a person in a field, in order for him to make a contribution. The example would be the following. While Edison was working on his invention of the lamp, clearly there was no one who has also invented it before him. He worked hard and kept failing for a long time and when his colleague asked him if he still wanted to continue after his nine hundred and ninety ninth trial, he said that he then knew “how not to invent a lamp” in nine hundred and ninety nine ways, but the others knew zero. So that passion lead him to be the inventor of it.
As a result, I of course believe that previous achievements influence and encourage people to do more. Thus, I do not think that it is ‘impossible’ to make contributions if there is no previous success. The more important thing is being enthusiastic about becoming a part of a particular field by making a contribution, being focused on it and never losing the passion to succeed.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 78, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...do more, by giving them more confidence.To start with an example, let us think of ...
^^
Line 3, column 515, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , then
...medicine and carries on with his studies,then he would be more probable to cure cance...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 478, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: ninety-ninth
... to continue after his nine hundred and ninety ninth trial, he said that he then knew '...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 581, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: ninety-nine
...invent a lamp' in nine hundred and ninety nine ways, but the others knew zero. So that...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 625, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[3]
Message: “So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ty nine ways, but the others knew zero. So that passion lead him to be the inventor of ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, still, then, thus, well, while, at least, kind of, of course, as a result, to start with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.3162921348 159% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 33.0505617978 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 58.6224719101 102% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2049.0 2235.4752809 92% => OK
No of words: 439.0 442.535393258 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.66742596811 5.05705443957 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57737117129 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87225580599 2.79657885939 103% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 215.323595506 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492027334852 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 642.6 704.065955056 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.7556519446 60.3974514979 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.529411765 118.986275619 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8235294118 23.4991977007 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.58823529412 5.21951772744 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.187840202245 0.243740707755 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0714777520442 0.0831039109588 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0558431713687 0.0758088955206 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131993010734 0.150359130593 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0500225219973 0.0667264976115 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.1392134831 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.8420337079 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 12.1639044944 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.38706741573 95% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 100.480337079 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.