Because people increasingly feel compelled to share their personal details online, the right to privacy is eroding.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
The advent of technological advancement and modernization in human civilization has made our life easier, secured and pompous, the misuse of such technology, however, have proven to be onerous for current population to sustain their privacy and secured livelihood. There have been many instances where use of online technology have made people connected to each other and improved the lifestyle of countless people, whereas, it has also resulted in making them vulnerable to several unknowns -- it could be kidnappers who are stalking people to extort money, a scammer who is looking to scam all the money of poor elderly people or a criminal who is seeking to take refuge when you are least secured. I believe, the use of online technology and social media, is what affects the privacy in a significant manner and not the online technologies themselves for the ensuing reasons.
To begin with, the progress of technology in terms of online medias and social platforms have exposed a lot of people at risk to unknown threats which would have been negligible otherwise in the absence of those technologies in the past. For example, currently, many instances of kids being kidnapped have been increasing rapidly, which is mostly attributed to the exposed privacy of those kids online. It is highly likely that the kid being kidnapped have been sharing his location through facebook, whereever he goes, and posting his details meeting with his freinds or family; such activities make people more prone to criminal minded people who can track them through their online activity. Furthermore, in an interview, a judge asked Sundar Pichai, the CEO of Google, whether he is able to track if the judge in present in the court or at his home. In response to the judge's question, the CEO of Google was sort of muted since he did not want to admit that they were indeed able to track the judge himself. Therefore, in current era of online medias and social platforms like facebook, snapchat, and instagram, people easily share their details online making them extremely vulnerable; this has indeed eroded the privacy of people since anyone can keep track of the online activity through these medias.
Another crucial and imperative thing to note down is that online system is prevalent in all aspects of our lives whether getting a driving license, getting a job, ordering a pizza, or making a phone call. These online activities constantly keep record of our personal biodata and thus could be used at any instance against us. For instance, whenever we order our products from a public wifi, there is always a possibility of a hacker to intercept the public wifi network and stealing our online data. The victim would be then after backmailed and extorted with a lot of money by such criminal hackers. This is merely because our personal information has been stored online and using insecure network systems have failed to prevent those hackers from gaining access to our information which should have been "personal". Similarly, we are obliged to talk about the millions and billions of dollar of money vanished from so called highly-secured banks just because their online system wasn't highly secured. Such grave examples when sharing online information has hindered the lives of people, compromised their privacy and their personal lives are omnipresent, thereby suggesting that compelling people to share their private information in online platforms could indeed erode their privacy.
Finally, being compelled to share the information online doesn't merely mean that our right to privacy is being eroded, but it is also important to take into account of several ways how online system has helped us secure our information from being lost as well. There are thousands of accidents waiting to occur in offices and homes which could destroy every bit of information that could have been the most crucial one for us. A big fire in "Singhadurbar", a governing body of Nepal, resulted in the losses of millions of records that were kept in papers; if those records were present online, it is always possible to recover them however they might have been lost. Furthermore, there are numerous cases when people have posted about their suicides in their social media, from such posts, the family members and friends have been able to save their lives. This shows that, not all instances of sharing information online erodes the privacy of people, but it is the way how those information have been used might compromise with the privacy of the people instead.
In conclusion, forcing people to share their crucial personal information online only exposes the population to external threat from which even highly secured system might not be able to deal with. Online system itself is not the culprit, it is the way of using those systems and the purpose behind them. Instead of compelling people to share their information, they should be presented with appropriate options from which they are able to choose the kind of information they are comfortable to share with. The right to privacy is for all people despite their caste, race, sex, or background and therefore, every online platforms should abide to the right. If these concerns are appropriately addressed the privacy of people can be secured to some extent.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 788, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a significant manner" with adverb for "significant"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...cial media, is what affects the privacy in a significant manner and not the online technologies themsel...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 993, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
... banks just because their online system wasnt highly secured. Such grave examples whe...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 58, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...mpelled to share the information online doesnt merely mean that our right to privacy i...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 985, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'those informations'?
Suggestion: this information; those informations
...rivacy of people, but it is the way how those information have been used might compromise with th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 658, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ne platforms should abide to the right. If these concerns are appropriately addres...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, furthermore, however, if, look, similarly, so, then, therefore, thus, well, whereas, for example, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, sort of, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 52.0 19.5258426966 266% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 14.8657303371 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.3162921348 194% => OK
Pronoun: 77.0 33.0505617978 233% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 126.0 58.6224719101 215% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 22.0 12.9106741573 170% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 4457.0 2235.4752809 199% => OK
No of words: 875.0 442.535393258 198% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09371428571 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.43878652969 4.55969084622 119% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69295382864 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 383.0 215.323595506 178% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.437714285714 0.4932671777 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1423.8 704.065955056 202% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 13.0 4.99550561798 260% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 33.0 23.0359550562 143% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.7256435569 60.3974514979 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 171.423076923 118.986275619 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.6538461538 23.4991977007 143% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.84615384615 5.21951772744 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 5.13820224719 214% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.271752799948 0.243740707755 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0833076129629 0.0831039109588 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0567178843146 0.0758088955206 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171165928532 0.150359130593 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0525195612056 0.0667264976115 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.4 14.1392134831 137% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.98 48.8420337079 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.1743820225 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.1639044944 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.97 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 205.0 100.480337079 204% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 30.5 11.8971910112 256% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.2143820225 136% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 788, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a significant manner" with adverb for "significant"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...cial media, is what affects the privacy in a significant manner and not the online technologies themsel...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 993, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
... banks just because their online system wasnt highly secured. Such grave examples whe...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 58, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...mpelled to share the information online doesnt merely mean that our right to privacy i...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 985, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'those informations'?
Suggestion: this information; those informations
...rivacy of people, but it is the way how those information have been used might compromise with th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 658, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ne platforms should abide to the right. If these concerns are appropriately addres...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, furthermore, however, if, look, similarly, so, then, therefore, thus, well, whereas, for example, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, sort of, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 52.0 19.5258426966 266% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 14.8657303371 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.3162921348 194% => OK
Pronoun: 77.0 33.0505617978 233% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 126.0 58.6224719101 215% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 22.0 12.9106741573 170% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 4457.0 2235.4752809 199% => OK
No of words: 875.0 442.535393258 198% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09371428571 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.43878652969 4.55969084622 119% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69295382864 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 383.0 215.323595506 178% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.437714285714 0.4932671777 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1423.8 704.065955056 202% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 13.0 4.99550561798 260% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 33.0 23.0359550562 143% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.7256435569 60.3974514979 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 171.423076923 118.986275619 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.6538461538 23.4991977007 143% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.84615384615 5.21951772744 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 5.13820224719 214% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.271752799948 0.243740707755 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0833076129629 0.0831039109588 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0567178843146 0.0758088955206 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171165928532 0.150359130593 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0525195612056 0.0667264976115 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.4 14.1392134831 137% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.98 48.8420337079 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.1743820225 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.1639044944 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.97 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 205.0 100.480337079 204% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 30.5 11.8971910112 256% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.2143820225 136% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.